Building Trust in Relationships: Stay Calm and Take Him at His Word | Slism
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Building Trust in Relationships: Stay Calm and Take Him at His Word

If your relationships often leave you unsatisfied, is it usually because of the time that you spend together? Or do the majority of the negative experiences happen in your mind when you are apart? If the latter, learn to take him at his word and begin building trust.

Building Trust is the Foundation of Every Relationship

Relationships are complicated enough as it is. Why make it harder than it needs to be by not trusting your partner? Put your mind at ease and take him at his word. It’s unwise to trust everything everyone says; it’s also unwise to be distrustful. However, you find middle ground by talking to each other about the important problems and letting go of what’s not important.

house and key between couple

You would be surprised how far you can take your relationship when you have a little faith in him. Amongst others (following a mutual hobby, resolving communication issues, and socializing together) having faith in him is one way to improve your relationship.
By trusting him, you are putting your own mind at ease, and making it halfway to building trust in your relationship. Because it is only if both partners take each other at their word, that their relationship has a chance to succeed.

Reading in Between the Lines and Looking for Hidden Meaning in Everything he Said is Bad for Your Mental Health, and it Can End a Relationship Very Quickly

Whether his words are sincere or not, it doesn’t help to constantly overanalyze them. You are simply wasting the energy by always thinking about things outside of your control.

Take it at Face Value

Remember this one simple idiom to stay worry-free: Take it at face value. You should respect what people have to say and not constantly question their motives. Did he tell you he is busy that day? Then he is busy. Don’t look any further into it. If he’s lying then that’s his problem, not yours.

girl eating cookie

Also remember that actions speak louder than words: his behavior is a lot more indicative of his true feelings, and what he says isn’t always set in stone. Decide to trust him now and let fate control the future. Taking words at face value doesn’t necessarily mean that you trust them; it means that you accept them. Let him say what’s on his mind, then leave it at that.

Take Control

Building trust requires you to have control of the relationship. Control does not require micromanaging every aspect of your partner’s life. Control means you have self-esteem high enough to let certain things go sometimes. He says he forgot to answer your text? Don’t retaliate and do the same thing; take him at his word instead.

girl flexing back muscles

You are taking the high ground, thus you have gained power in the relationship. By “getting even”, you are giving away your power. You are giving into your first instinct, and thus projecting yourself as insecure. If he is the type of guy to continue making the same mistakes, then adjust your expectations accordingly. Don’t just lose hope after one instance of him not fulfilling your expectations.

Judge Your Relationship Based on the Moments You Spend Together

In order to co-exist with someone else, you must learn to let go of the attachment to the outcome. We tend to get so wrapped up in what others are thinking and what we need to do to please them.

girl writing in diary
“Does he like me?”

The longer you spend with him helps bring you closer to answering the question of whether or not he likes you are not. Though if you find yourself lost in the moment, know this: you will find out sooner or later.

“What did he mean by that?”

Like most things, you won’t get the meaning right off the back. Though with him, the longer you’ve been together, the more likely the puzzle pieces come together until the day where everything just clicks.

“Why does he seem so distant?”

If he is being distant, my best advice for you is to give him his distance. With time this distance will be bridged by natural attraction. At least, that’s how it should turn out. Either way, let time bridge the distance.

“How long will this last?”

It will last. At least that what I keep telling myself every day. If you still not sure, don’t let that ruin a good thing. Over-worrying is a sinking ship. Believe, it will last.

“How does he really feel about me?”

He really-really likes you. But here is the thing, he might not know it yet. So if you are going through some downs and hilly areas in your relationship, I say let nature run it’s course. Afterall, if he really-really likes you, it may be the case that you might not know yet.

“Am I good enough for him?”

By remaining emotionally unattached to the future throughout the duration of the relationship, you are giving yourself the best chance to enjoy your time together.

Enjoy who you are with, when you are with them.

Stop daydreaming about your future together, stop ruminating about the past, and enjoy right now. Spending a significant amount of time thinking about the outcome makes us take the present moment for granted. We are mentally sabotaging the relationship. Not one relationship is worth sacrificing time you could spend being productive. If you aren’t enjoying yourself in the time you are spending with him, consider ending it.

spending time together
Talk About Your Problems in Person; Don’t Go Behind his Back

When you are thinking about him, stop and put your thoughts in perspective. Are your thoughts constructive to the relationship? Are your thoughts the comfortable ones or uncomfortable ones?

worried girl looking over sea

If the latter, put those thoughts in the back of your mind and bring them up next time you talk to him. If it’s something you’d rather not talk about, then drop it. Ruminating on negativity will destroy your mental health.

Rewarding Relationships are Built on Trust

By trusting him, you are opening the possibility of getting hurt in the future. This is perfectly normal. People make mistakes; there has never been a person in the world who hasn’t felt at least one instance of betrayal. However, if you decide to leave your heart open, you will live and learn. The pain from having our trust betrayed makes us stronger. By experiencing a failing relationship, we become a more mature adult and we take one step closer towards finding our ideal partner.

happy couple kissing

By being distrustful of people, you are closing your heart off from possible pain. However, that pain is natural; it helps us grow as individuals. To combat the possibility of being betrayed, we often develop defense mechanisms to protect ourselves from emotional harm. However, don’t be afraid to let your guard down occasionally and take him at his word.

Become a Seasoned Veteran in the Dating World

The positive side to take from experiencing failing relationships is that you will naturally begin to lower your expectations over time. Normally, young people that are inexperienced in relationships have unrealistic expectations of the dating world.

girl with cards

After having different experiences you learn how to play the game. You have experienced a lifetime worth of heartache, and small petty things will no longer bother you. You will begin to quickly distinguish between mentally mature and immature people. You will have learned to become unattached from the outcome of the relationship.

Let the Fate Decide Your Future; Not Your Thoughts

If all else fails, take a mental break from the relationship. Turn your phone off and start doing something you enjoy. Even if just for an hour. I’ve spent a day worrying about a significant other. An entire day just lying in my bed and ruminating in my thoughts. Needless to say, that relationship didn’t work out. I was inexperienced with relationships and mentally immature. A successful relationship requires building trust. And the best way to build trust is by deciding to be the first one to trust. If he’s the right one for you, he will trust you in return.