The True Meaning of Having and Being a Friend
Making friends is one of the most important aspects of everyone's life. Every one of us needs a soul mate and a shoulder to cry on, someone we can trust and share our deepest secrets, a person that will encourage us no matter what and always say the truth in our faces, no matter how harsh it is.
Still, in some cases, people can become disconnected from each other after a while, due to many obligations and regular life stress. That is why we have some guidelines on how to improve your social life, how to meet new persons, make stable friendships and keep in touch with them.
A Guideline to Making New Friends from Making the First Contact up to Being a True and Loyal Friend, Avoiding Exhausting People
Sometimes, all you need to make new friends is by being yourself. No amount of forced friendships or proving your loyalty will get you what you want. You need to show it by your actions rather than your words.
1. Make friends
In order to have a group of people who know you well and are always there for you, you have to start off by meeting new people. Start off by taking baby steps, there is absolutely no rush. And if you are about to think about making friends and on how to make new friends, the answer is pretty simple: you can meet someone new by taking classes on what you like doing. It can be hiking, acting class, painting, some sport or dance - it doesn't matter. That way you will get a chance to meet people that have passion about some things you like. You will have a lot in common, so starting a conversation from this point on won't be such a big problem, right? After all, they don't bite and they might as well be looking for some new friends, just like you.
2. Present yourself nicely
The first thing you need to do, in order to get to know someone, is to start a conversation. It can be an offer to help that person, a question about directions or something you need, or it can be a compliment on something that person is wearing or the way that person looks in general. Small talk is always the best conversation starter. That way, you get to see what kind of topics you have in common with that person. The next best thing you should do, once you see that the other person is also interested in getting to know you is to politely present yourself. You can always go with the regular “Hi, we didn't meet properly, my name is..” or you can make a joke out of it. That will leave a certain impression on the person you are trying to meet, so have that in mind.
3. Are you compatible with each other?
Use the conversation to see how much in common you have with this new friend of yours. Friendship compatibility is pretty important when it comes to building a stable friendship and it starts off with looking at how similar or different you two are. There are no two twin-personalities, but it can happen that your characters match as well as your hobbies. If that is the case, you will know it from the start, because there will be a lot of topics you two will talk about spontaneously. Still, if it happens that you don't have as much topics to talk about, as you would expect, it doesn't have to mean you two can't be friends. Acknowledge your companions differences and see if you are ok with that. After all, the opposites do attract, so maybe this person across you is exactly what you need in a friend. If you are shy, you might need someone who will get you from the corner and take you to the wildest party ever.
4. Be nice and socialize
Inviting your new friend over for a lunch or a coffee can be one of those crucial moments, which will break the ice and make the friendship even better. If it's a friendship between different genders, it would be a good thing to make sure that both sides are aware that you looking only for a friend, not a lover or a life partner, in order to avoid possible misunderstandings. That way, both sides will feel comfortable enough to be spontaneous. If it happens that you are in the hurry or have some obligations, feel free to exchange contact information, like email or phone number, Facebook profile with that person, so you both know how to contact each other in the future.
5. Don't push someone into being your friend
The worst thing you can do while maintaining your friendship with someone is to put a pressure on that person to be your friend no matter what. Friendship doesn't work that way. The meaning of friendship is based on the good will of both sides and mutual understanding as well as the trust to let the other person have a free choice to do whatever that person feels like doing. This way, both you and the other person, can be yourselves and you can show the other person what qualities and bad sides you have. If the friendship doesn't work out the way you planned, don't stalk that person, but try to see that it's for the best. Some people just aren't compatible in that way.
6. Try to really be friend
A lot of people doesn't actually know how to behave themselves when it comes to difficult moments with their friends. If you see that your friend is hurt and needs support, a shoulder to cry on, be there to comfort him/ her. If a friend tells you a secret, don't go around and blab it all out to the rest of the world, because you will betray your friend's trust. When you see that your friend is doing something he/she shouldn't be, try to find out more about the reasons behind that act and advise him/her accordingly to what you feel would be better. And always watch his/her back because that is what friends are for and what does friendship mean. Always make sure to keep your word, because everything counts. If someone stand you up more than once without a good reason, would you trust that person with something really important?
7. Pick a friend
It is also important that you know who you are friends with. Some people are always seeing the negative side of the life, no matter what happens or how great their lives are. Those kind of people always have doubt in friendship and may give you a pretty hard time, which can be pretty exhausting. Those kind of friendships are called toxic friendships and they can cause you a lot of stress (the best case scenario). If that happens, try to peacefully end those kind of friendships. Although ending a friendship is never easy, this one will do you good. Instead, focus on the people around you, who are always trying to see the brighter side of life and are always there to encourage you, as you would do the same for them.
Friend by definition
The real meaning of friendship is having a special bond with someone who isn't connected to you by bloodline or in any similar way. It is the soul mate that understands you, someone you would go out of your house in the middle of the night, if necessary.
That is that one special person, your shoulder to cry on, but also your conscious when needed. Keep all that in mind as you make new friendships and meet new friends, because that is the goal you are trying to reach. And the most important thing for every friendship is - it takes time to build a good one, so be patient.
