How to Heal and Move on After a Tough Break Up
Going through a whole pallet of emotions, series of phases after some tough break up or any kind of separation from your beloved one is never an easy thing to do.
Not having that special someone next to you any more makes a large void in your life, especially when it comes to love. Now, when you have to deal with it, it hurts and you have no idea to get over it. Here are smart pieces of advice and simple guidelines, which might help you out with this and get you healed properly and moving on in no time.
Expert Pieces of Advice on How to Heal After a Tough Break up and Start Regaining Your Old Life Back
Every time you feel that your relationship is going nowhere or that the other person doesn't seem to be that interested in you any more, it's time to reevaluate your position and think everything through. You might decide it is worth waiting for things to get better or you might end up going through a really tough break up. And when going through a separation from a person you care about, a person you used to spend a lot of time with, things aren't always nice. This is the main reason why there are some pieces of relationship breakup advice to help you regain your old life back.
1. Be patient
There isn't a pain that can go away in couple of minutes. When you spend a lot of time with one person, you have all those great moments and memories and you, at least, get used to having that person around. Now that you can't do that any more, there is a whole process after a relationship break up you need to go through in order to get used to new situation. Start solving your troubles by giving yourself enough time and space for everything you need. When you are dealing with a break up, there is no instant cure. It takes time to make things better and to heal. Throughout that time, you'll have to learn to be patient and just let it go its course. If you try to rush things, thinking that it might speed things up a bit, you might end up in even worse condition than you thought.
2. Reevaluate your past relationship
When you are in love, there are a lot of things you simply don't see or you don't want to see. If you thought that their actions were sometimes inadequate, try and analyze them step by step. Think about what are the exact things you don't agree with. True, you might get angry all of the sudden and have the urge to call that person you broke up with so you could say a lot of bad words that come to your mind, but that is not the point. Just focus on thinking about all the situations you had issue with and finding things you would change. That will help you realize what you don't want to happen the next time you are in a relationship with someone. Surviving breakup is not always about getting over the pain, but also learning something from that whole experience you had in a relationship.
3. Focus on the present
As you move towards your goal of getting your life back in tracks, you need to start focusing on "now" rather than on "yesterday" at some point. Keeping your mind and your thoughts in the past is like keeping yourself locked out of all the interesting events that are taking place in the present. It is ok to have a phase when you don't want to see anyone, you don't want to go out, when you simply don't feel like having fun, but you should also not let that become your regular behavior. Instead of pining over him/her alone for a couple of months, talk with your best friend and he/she will bring up the good mood and will always do anything to cheer you up, even just a little bit. One of the best ways on how to survive a breakup is to keep being yourself and accepting the whole palette of your feelings.
4. Find a hobby
Staying in one place and doing nothing is neither a very good nor effective way to get over a breakup. Locking yourself out of interesting things that are going on and passing you by, just because you are hurting or afraid to have a bit of fun, isn't going to fix things. Your mind will be caught in the process of thinking about all the things that already happened and are now in a past. Find a way to keep your brain going forward and keep yourself a bit occupied. You will have time to reevaluate your past relationship, but you will also have some obligations to think about, which will get you to go with the flow. In order to start this process, you can find what you really like doing and take a course in that. Some kind of hobby will both keep you happy and keep your brain off the focus from the pain at least for a couple of hours.
5. Buy some new stuff
This is one of those pieces of advice for breakups that sound really silly, but they actually give a good feedback. The point in getting some new clothes or new bedsheets, new make up or new haircut isn't about changing who you are in order to forget everything, but to make yourself happy. Being happy again is essential when it comes to regaining your old life back. And the happiness comes in small packages. Start by doing all the small things you always wanted to do- go to ice cream, go skating, get that book you craved about, maybe even buy new lingerie or get some of the makeup you wanted. Now, you have all the time to dedicate to yourself and your needs and it is time to fill in the void that occurred. So, put your shoes on, get your wallet and simply go out for a walk. You can visit some malls on the way, and maybe you'll find something you really like.
6. Don't look back (just yet)
Remembering all the great moments in your life, as well as those from your past relationship, is a good thing, but not until you are fully healed and happy with your current life. For some people it comes faster and for some, this breakup pain can last a bit longer than they expected. But, what you don't want to do, is to get that box out, which is filled with all the cute things you saved, and start looking through the nice stuff that remind you of how great you were together. Living in past is something you should never do, because it's in the past. It will only make things worse and you might find yourself running back to the past, wanting things to be the way they were and not being able to see the real truth, to see that things have changed.
No matter how hard it is to go through all these phases, keep in mind that, if the relationship did work the way you wanted it to, you wouldn't be going through the break up in the first place. Always try to see things for what they really are, no matter how painful it is. That will help you out with accepting the fact you two are no longer together and that it takes time for you to be happy again.