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High Maintenance Women: What Is Hidden behind Being Called One?

Has anyone ever told you that you are a high maintenance woman? If you are not sure whether to trust him or not, we have prepared some tips that will help you decide. “Am I high maintenance?” is no longer a question you should ask yourself.

Whys and buts of being a high maintenance woman

That dating life can be quite complicated; we are all quite familiar with. What usually cause the trouble are not opinions and rumors about us, but rather our own characteristics and peculiarities of our personalities. However, we are not usually to blame; everyone has a right on their own flaws and virtues. What is up to us is to find that one person who can stand our flaws, and whose flaws we are able to stand, or even, enjoy. Not every girl has what it takes to date a shy guy, enough patience, and many girls have lots of trouble trying to figure out the mind of a narcissistic guy, but that doesn’t make them impossible to date.

woman wearing pearls in sunglasses

The same thing goes for girls: there are shy girls, and there are narcissistic girls, and trust us: there surely are guys who simply love dating them. However, there is another kind of girls some guys can’t resist. And other guys can’t really stand them. It seems that there is actually no middle when it comes to them. They are high maintenance women.

Love It or Loathe It, but Eventually You Will Come Face to Face with It. When It Comes to High Maintenance Women, Find out If You Are One of Them or Not. Do You like What You See?

We’ll be honest: when we start working on this article, we thought it would be easy. We’ll define high maintenance woman, give several examples, explain good and bad sides, and go have a coffee break. But no, oh no.
We stumbled upon our first problem the moment we tried to define a high maintenance woman. Apparently, according to several good friends who are always willing to give us their point of view, and our online fellow-sufferers, there are at least dozen definitions on what we are talking about today. We admit: at first we were afraid, and then we were amazed. It was really incredible. Apparently, definitions depend on experience.

Defining. Well… At least trying

One of our friends, let’s call him Imadude, tried to phrase it like this:
"Her happiness is like a leprechaun: you try hard to find it, but after a while you wonder if it really exists."
From this, we figured that a high maintenance woman is probably a woman who is hard to please. Why? Does she have high standards? Is she a sworn pessimist? Or is she simply one of those nagging persons like your Granny is?
Then, at the same time, we received two similar, yet different pieces of information (actually, one was a question. A question we were too puzzled to answer). First there was this:
“High Maintenance makes me think of women who spend all of their income on designer shoes and bags, saving none of it for food or emergency.”
We barely started pondering over how is it connected with the previous answer, when the question reached us:
“Is it high maintenance if I work and provide for myself but still like nice things?”
We admit we were lost there for a while.
What we tried to do afterwards is to rely on our common sense and our knowledge of basic vocabulary. If something is high maintenance, such as machine, or a vehicle, it takes a lot of effort in order to work properly or regularly. We used transferred the meaning to our main phrase and… Oh no! Well, okay. That answers some of the questions. The girl that provides for herself and likes surrounding herself with nice things isn’t really a high maintenance girl. She doesn’t expect from other people to provide for her needs. Okay, that means we are getting closer. We are making progress, but there are still questions to be answered (that means still no time for a coffee break).


After exchanging some experience, and doing a couple of informal interviews over a cup of coffee (we simply couldn’t resist) we came to a certain conclusion. Rather, two conclusions. First, guys who used to date high maintenance girls can rarely give an objective comment on them. For what is worse, we can’t really blame them. Or, at least, not blame them entirely.
Second, one of the things that a high maintenance woman won’t take is a ‘no’ for an answer. A high maintenance woman has her standards set high in the air, so high that sometimes it’s not even realistic. On the bright side, such a woman always knows what she wants, and she won’t give up until she gets it. So, having a high maintenance woman by your side isn’t exactly always a bad thing.
What is not so good about them is that they have high expectations set on mostly material things. They want to live classy life, and they won’t agree on anything less. That’s why they tend to be dissatisfied with their partner if it turns out that he is not what they hoped him to be. If this seems too vague, and you are still not sure you know what it means, or you ask yourself: “Am I high maintenance?” Make a smoothie and have a sit, because we’ve got your answers.

She’s got the look

woman wearing makeup holding brush against face
Are you high maintenance?

If you wonder if you are one of those high maintenance girls, here’s the first question you should ask yourself is: “When was the last time you went out of your house with no makeup on?” Peek at possible answers and will help you solve the mystery.
a. Not 5 minutes ago, when I went to the store.
b. Yesterday, when I went for a run.
c. Oh my, what are you talking about? Me with no makeup? You can dream about it.
There, there, yes, now you see. Everything is clear for you, the girl who’s answer was a. The ‘b’ girl also has nothing to worry about. The ‘c’ girl won’t probably worry either, but she is the one who is most likely a high maintenance girl.
You see, a high maintenance girl is very well of her (physical) flaws, and she is even more aware of the fact that she doesn’t want to show them. That makes makeup her eternal companion. Putting makeup in the morning for her is not even a habit for her, it’s a reflex. However it may seem to the non-high maintenance girls, one thing is for sure: we can be pretty jealous on her makeup skills.

Are you really going to wear that?

tshirts on hangers
Are you embarrassed to be seen with a guy at times?

Have you ever heard your bestie severely criticizing her boyfriend over the fact that his clubbing outfit consists of his plain jeans and university tee shirt while she is all dressed up in the manner that latest fashion bloggers strongly recommend? Or was that you? If a girl is embarrassed to go out with her boyfriend just because he has no high level of awareness when it comes to fashion, she is probably one high maintenance girls. Of course, here we do not consider guys who wear socks with sandals; even we can’t leave with that (really, guys? What are you thinking?!)
If a girl does her best to always look as good as possible, she wants her guy to stand to her standards. And if that requires constant nagging and shooing him back to his room to change his shirt, she will do it, and she will not regret a single moment of it.
If she feels that is necessary, and she can afford it, it is no wonder if she even starts buying him things that are up to her taste (for real). Well, that doesn’t sound that bad, we agree. But that doesn’t change the fact we will always support, and that is to accept the other person just the way he is. After all, he’s not trying to change you, isn’t he?

Oh, those earrings are lovely!

Girl wearing expensive jewelry and read lipstick.
Do you spend all your money on jewelry?

If you can refrain from the almighty powers of fine chocolate for the sake of slimmer bikini body but you can’t resist not spending your monthly allowance on a cute pair of earrings or that cute bracelet from Hermes, we can’t hide it from you anymore: chances are that you are a high maintenance girl, whether you like the name or not.
High maintenance girl is of an opinion that there is never enough jewelry in her box, and that’s why she always wants more. She also likes when other people buy her jewelry, but she is also never bored buying jewelry for others (as long as she gets to chip in for that cute bracelet for her). To sum it up: she likes it when it blings. Do you like it when it blings? Reconsider.

A woman is a princess

woman in crown
Are you the center of attention?

If you recognize yourself in one of the options mentioned above, but your mind can’t figure out the logic behind how and if that makes you a high maintenance woman, we will now reveal you one secret.
What differs between a high maintenance woman and a woman with high standards is attention. A woman who knows what she wants, will work hard until she gets it, and might not even say a word about it. But a high maintenance woman will not. She needs attention, she needs to feel special.
If she finishes the task herself, be it a boyfriend, mom, or a bestie, but she’ll hear about that. And if she doesn’t want to do it herself, she’ll consider it necessary to find someone to assist her, or even do everything instead of her (remember your cousin who made you do her laundry in junior high because she found it to be ‘yucky’? Well, high maintenance women are somewhat similar)
A high maintenance girl might… won’t ask you to write her biology essay, but she’ll probably bug you to help you carry some lab equipment if she had her nails done recently.
It’s highly probable that such girl doesn’t like being alone, or not being the center of attention. Sounds familiar? Hello, we have some news for you! When you are at a party and everyone’s talking to your boyfriend, do you feel glad that your friends really like your cute boyfriend or are grumpy because nobody still complimented your new stilettos and what you did with your bangs?

man on knees asking stubborn woman

If you were daddy’s princess, and now you’re your boyfriends princess, and nothing but being treated like a princess is good enough for you, you should know that there is no clearer sign. But, at least, you get to blame your dad. :) And guess what! You are as close to Jackie as it get. But no worries, eventually, another Ashton Kutcher will fall for you, too. But you probably don’t need our assurance, you are pretty sure in the same yourself, we are only pointing out the obvious, right?

Guys don’t like them, right? Not… Really

Reading this article again and again, it seems to us that those guys at the coffee shop really managed to influence on us. Well, we are not siding with anyone, we just tried to show you an image from different perspective, and some of those perspectives might sound a bit harsh. But we also pointed out the good sides. And there are always good sides. Remember that saying about the clouds and some nice, shiny, silver linings? Yeah. Well, every little princess turns out to be a hero at some point.
And about if guys like high maintenance woman… Guys like what they can’t have. We have mentioned, and we are going to mention times and times again that guys like challenges. And a high maintenance woman certainly is a challenge. And if they managed once to stand by her side, but then got dumped, of course they’re going to be bitter. But that doesn’t mean that they won’t ever date such woman again.
Furthermore, there are also high maintenance guys, who also like luxury, classy life, classy clothes, eccentric girls who like the same, being treated as if royalty… The story is the same; it’s only gender that is different. Just like we said in the beginning, it doesn’t matter what our flaws are, as long as we are aware of them, and able to deal with them. Finding someone that is willing and able to work out their lives with us incorporated in every aspect of it, is a plus (a very important one) we should appreciate immensely.

By Abie Giles

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