Inside the Mind of a Borderline Personality
She lives inside her own little bubble. The bubble has a tough exterior: others have to work very hard to get inside. But once inside and looking out, one realizes that the bubble is fragile on the inside. It is very easy to get pushed out of her bubble. Her behavior is erratic, her negativity can be overwhelming at times, and she has too many defense mechanisms to count. Simply put: she’s just too much effort for most people to try and deal with. Maybe you’ve met someone who fits this description. This is the description of someone with borderline personality. You could label it as a disorder, but as the name suggests: its status as a mental illness is borderline at best.
Classic Borderline Personality Traits
1. Identity Crisis
People with borderline personality haven’t figured out yet who they are or what they want out of life. Thus their appearance and direction in life changes on a whim.
2. Bad Relationship History
Explosive relationships and borderline personality go hand-in hand. It is their extreme mood swings and paranoia that get the best of them when dealing with the opposite sex.
3. Mood Swings
The mood swings are something that someone with borderline personality can’t easily control. It is part of who they are and a part of the illness. The way to handle it is to be unreactive and understanding.
4. Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem causes borderline personalities to harm themselves and others in ways that average people aren’t capable of. In order to love others, you must also love yourself.
Stemming from their low self-esteem, a borderline personality can abuse themselves with many self-destructive behaviors. It places a burden on their family and everyone around them.
Paranoia is a common trait among a borderline personalities. A result of which is they rationalize their behaviors to others and engage in defense mechanisms like passive-aggression to get what they want.
Borderline personality is difficult to diagnose, because to some extent almost everyone displays these symptoms from time to time. Therapy for borderline personality disorder can be quite extensive. And even after thorough investigation, the diagnosis is still often confusing for many. You may think you are dating someone with borderline personality when really you could be dating a borderline narcissist.
Borderline Personality Disorder is One of the Most Common Personality Disorders that Exist, Which is Why You Should Understand Borderline Personality Disorder Traits
Sometimes dealing with a borderline personality can be like pulling hair. But if you understand it from their point of view, it goes a long way in having empathy and working through the troubling times.
1. Identity Crisis: Constant change of appearance
This problem stems from an oppressive childhood. Most adolescents find out who they are and what they want by the time they reach adulthood. But someone with borderline personality has trouble understanding who she is or what her direction in life is supposed to be. Her sense of self has never truly developed to the point of a mature adult. They express themselves by constantly changing their appearance, interests, and passions. Those suffering from borderline disorder have trouble coming to terms with themselves, thus project these frustrations onto others at random times.
2. Long History of Destructive Relationships
One of the main borderline personality disorder traits is someone who has a very hot and cold attitude towards people. Her current significant other is the best guy in the world. Her exes were all disgusting lowlifes who don’t deserve to be happy. Borderline personalities have a distorted perception about other people. They often only see in black and white; either a person is good or they are bad. This is the recipe for relationship disaster. Their personality is explosive and leads to intense feelings of desire, anger, jealousy, and regret. Relationships of this kind have a short shelf-life and have a tendency to end violently.
The paranoia of someone with a borderline personality is always looming. A part of extreme regret comes the fear of abandonment. She can’t handle people distancing themselves from her, whether it is real or imagined. She may act extremely needy when she perceives that others don’t want to be around her. In the same light, she is also extremely closed off in her own insecurities to let people back into her life that she herself abandoned. This needy behavior comes from extreme paranoia that nobody could ever love her.
3. Mood Swings: Instability
Help for borderline personality disorder suggests for her to stop thinking so much. But someone with a borderline personality has very impulsive mood swings. If they feel neglected, they can and will go to extreme measures to satisfy their own ego. This could mean sacrificing her own life to hold onto others, or cause her to reject others before they reject her.
4. Low Self-Worth: Never satisfied
If I’ve learned anything of witnessing someone with a borderline personality, it’s that they absolutely can never be satisfied with themselves. And since they are their own worst critic, they also can never give others credit either. She is often selfish, and bringing people down to her level. She can never be happy for someone else, because she is so miserable with her own inadequacies. She is often depressed, and borderline depression causes her to feel forever unloved and unimportant. They always feel like their lives are empty and leading nowhere.
5. Self-Harming Behaviors: Potentially abusive
Borderline personality disorder causes one to act very irrationally. Because of her low self-esteem, it is common for borderline personalities to engage in suicidal thoughts or behaviors. A high suicide rate among people with borderline personality means that anybody with these symptoms should be monitored carefully by family and friends at all times. There is also always the risk of addiction, abuse, and wasteful spending. People with borderline personality should not own credit cards. Borderline personality disorder help should be administered when she is having an extreme impulsive episode that she cannot control.
6. Paranoid Thoughts: Paranoia
Everyone has negative thoughts, but paranoia is dwelling in negativity for most of your days. Someone with borderline personality cannot stop ruminating about past failures. This person has paranoid thoughts about people talking negatively about her, even when it is only going on inside her mind. She is constantly working against herself. She lives in an imaginary world where things have to work to her expectations, and if they don’t then there is extreme backlash. Her hostility towards others comes from the fact that she cannot get over her own insecurities. She is not good enough for her friends or family, so suddenly and without any notice she burns the bridge with everyone. The reason why a social life is difficult for people with this illness is because most people just cannot relate with such erratic behavior. A good family will always forgive their own, but the average friend just cannot deal with somebody so unpredictable.
Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment
There are many ways to solve the problem of someone having border line personality. Treating borderline personality disorder can be difficult because in order to be treated, she needs to be diagnosed as someone with the mental illness. Effective treatment options include medication, therapy, or a combination of both. The therapy is meant to modify negative and self-destructive behaviors. Therapy in a group setting is often the most preferred route, as someone with bpd can find common ground with others who have the same struggles. Since a common symptom of borderline personality is inability to find people like themselves, group therapy is usually very effective.