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How to Keep a Relationship: Truth about Dating Everyone Should Know

Do you feel like your relationships end just as quickly as they start? You know what they say: Easy come easy go. If any of us knew one end-all secret to making every relationship work, we’d be rich. But as far as dating goes, it’s not impossible to figure out if you understand one simple truth about dating.

How to Keep a Relationship and Become More Attractive

Dating is a game based on a perceived value. The same perceived value we take into account when shopping for clothes, houses, and stocks. The product doesn’t always have to have practical uses to have a high price tag attached to it, like rare baseball cards for example. Its market value is determined by its scarcity.

girl reading

So get ready for some introspection. To make changes in your outside relationships, first you have to improve the inner one you have with yourself. To improve how your possible dates will perceive you, you have to be very well aware of what you have to offer. If you work on yourself from the start, you will have fewer problems once a relationship comes along.

Increase Your Perceived Value, and People Will Be Gravitated Toward You. Relationships Will Be More Natural and More Rewarding When You Understand this Simple Truth About Dating.

To determine our perceived value, we must look at our social past. Our social successes or lack thereof. If you have a troubled dating past, a common culprit is often us making ourselves too available. This is easily correctable.

Why is Perceived Value Important?

According to the rules of scarcity, we as humans inherently desire things that are difficult or impossible to obtain. You become infinitely more attractive to others when you:

  • Already have a boyfriend or girlfriend

  • Have strong social ties

  • Are a goal oriented person

  • Are a family oriented person

  • Have many different hobbies & interests

  • Keep yourself busy

Things to avoid in order to maintain your perceived value

Take a second to look back at your previous failed relationships. Were the majority of breakups initiated by you or them? If the latter, perhaps you should start considering the possible reasons behind it. Do you have a tendency to:

  • Become too attached, too soon?

  • Imagine life together with someone you barely even know?

  • Place a higher importance in a relationship than other key aspects of your life?

  • Come off as needy due to an excess of free time?

  • Check your phone or social media every few minutes throughout the day?

social girls

If you said yes to any of the above, you are selling yourself short in relationships by not maximizing your perceived value.

Maximize your percieved value

If you are to take any one thing out of this article, it should be this: In order to be successful in most modern relationships, you must FILL YOUR SCHEDULE at all costs. This is how to keep a relationship. You must be a person with high ambitions, have goals, and be passionate about your interests.

friends and coffee

Busy people are happier, thus busy people are more attractive. People with too much free time have a tendency to think more about their relationship, normally about the aspects of it they cannot control. And when I say free time, I’m referring to when you are idle. Not relaxing or out having fun.

Rules for Modern Relationships

Traditionally, females would spend all of their time as housewives and caregivers. Times are changing, traditional families are now becoming a minority. Thus the rules for dating have changed, and in order to adapt you must adopt some basic relationship rules to live by. Here are some suggestions:

Look Out For Number One

You are your top priority and your wants and needs should come first. Relationships should only be thought of as a nice addition to what is already a fulfilling life.

Remain Emotionally Unattached

Don’t become too attached to any person. Unless you have made a firm commitment to someone you’ve been seeing for a while, keep your options open.

Be Equally Interested in Each Other

Instead of initiating conversation every time, trying to prove yourself, or chasing, let them come to YOU. Relationships are often about push and pull, and with experience you will often find out just how much work you should put into the relationship to make it equal.

Never Give Up

No matter how ugly your past relationships have been, remember to always keep your heart open. When you give up on the search for a suitable mate at any time, you waste potential opportunities for self-growth.

How to Keep a Relationship: With a Healthy Mindset about Dating

Filter out people who don’t meet your standards in terms of a suitable mate. Your mindset should be: “Does he meet MY standards? Do they accept me for who I am?” You should be dating to find the right person for you, not trying to MAKE one person right for you. The mindset that there is only ONE right person for you is a fallacy.

couple eating together

The more people you meet, the more your standards will change naturally over time. You know yourself and what you offer, now it’s time to find a partner to complement your best features.

Your Life Should Come BEFORE Your Partner’s

Once you understand yourself and your best qualities, you can move on to the next step of finding the things you want most in life other than a relationship. If you count on your relationships making you a happier and more complete person, it’s time to re-assess your priorities and broaden your perspective. Family, work, hobbies, and friends should ALWAYS come before potential love interests. Every time. Once you establish that you are a goal-oriented person with many passions, relationships will happen naturally.

Never Sell Yourself Short, You Deserve to Be Happy

Good relationships bring many opportunities and great experiences, but they should never be at the forefront of your life. The key on how to keep a relationship is to always have priorities above your relationships. That means never cancelling plans to make room for that dinner date.

It’s difficult to fake value, and relying on others to give you value doesn’t always work. Make an effort to increase your value by focusing every day on self-improvement. Self-confidence comes from knowing your best qualities and using them to your advantage. When you know what you have to offer in a relationship and establish value, you will attract the right kinds of people into your life.

By Kacia Nall

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