Is he in love with you — or just himself?
Generally speaking, a narcissistic person can be defined as someone who is in love with themselves. There are numerous signs of narcissism that you might recognize. These warning signs that you are dating a narcissist raise a red flag that you should never ignore. It is possible that you can't really put your finger on the problem, but you might feel like there is something off about him. In that case you should inspect our list and decide whether or not any of the below mentioned signs appear in your relationship. Remember that narcissists behave in a given way in order to hide their true self.
Ways to tell he's a narcissist
1. Thinks he is the center of the universe
2. Interrupts you as if on purpose
3. Always finds ways to break the rules
4. Doesn't respect social boundaries
5. Is and has always been a sociopath
6. Tries too hard to be a hero
7. Has two faces
Learn the Most Important Signs That You Are in a Narcissistic Relationship That You Need to Get out of as Soon as Possible
So, how can you know if you are in a narcissistic relationship? The clues to whether or not there is something wrong with your relationship or it is just him are not that hard to spot if you know where to look.
1. Likes to talk only about himself as if he was the center of the world
You may know some people who just love talking about themselves and they don't really care what other people might have to say. If your partner is like this, there are great chances of him being one of the narcissistic men. Do you really want to be around him?
When talking to narcissistic men, you might get the feeling that you are listening to a monologue as you can't really be an active participant of the conversation. It isn't a two-way conversation. If you want to have your point of view heard, you have to jump in. However, if your opinion doesn't agree with his, he will correct you or dismiss you. If he has no argument to fight your point of view, he will simply ignore you and go on as if nothing happened. Whatever you might say, he will always prove that he is right — even when he isn't.
You know you have to worry about unhealthy relationships if your partner often uses the following words: "but", "there is more to it than this", and "actually". These are the best words to prove that he is right and you are wrong.
Selfish vs. self-centered
Being selfish and self-centered are different things. Selfish is doing things for your own betterment. Oftentimes, being selfish isn't necessarily a bad thing. We all need to be selfish to a degree in order to make ourselves the priority in our lives; which is the way it should be. However, being self-centered is taking the concept to the extreme. It refers to the type of person whose world revolves around themselves and their problems. They can never stop letting other people know every little detail of their lives. They think that their life is the focus of everyone else's mind, and will go out of their way to make sure they are on your mind. Steer clear of these kind this disaster guy.
2. Always interrupts you when you get the chance to speak
It's not only that he likes to talk about himself, but if the conversation doesn't revolve around him, he will simply interrupt it and talk about something that leads the conversation back to him. Basically speaking, it is impossible not to talk about him when he's around.
While some people have poor communication skills and they have the habit of interrupting people, they don't do it consciously. On the other hand, narcissistic men in relationships do this on purpose because they are annoyed by the fact that they aren't the ones talking. It is even worse if the conversation doesn't revolve around them. Once he starts talking, he will tackle a subject that has something to do with him. If you manage to say something most probably he won't really be interested in it and he will only wait for a moment to interrupt you.
I've known quite a few of these people in my lifetime. It never gets any less irritating no matter how old and experienced you get. Whenever you open your mouth to speak, he starts to speak. You stop, he stops. He's always ready to start a confrontation and never lets you get a word in. He dominates the conversation and he can never be wrong. But the constant interruption is what makes being in a relationship with a narcissist nearly impossible. Even if you do manage to say a couple of things, they never register in his mind as valid. He writes you off before giving you a chance.
3. Breaks the rules — the rules don't apply to him
You may have to be dealing with narcissistic personality on a daily basis in your professional life too, not only in your personal life. Do you know people who like to break the rules just for the fun of it? How many times did it happen that someone cut in line in front of you?
You know you are in an unhealthy relationship if your partner constantly breaks the rules. The majority of people break rules with a given purpose, while a narcissist will break the rules just for the fun of it. As a matter of fact, nothing gives him more pleasure than to break the rules and get away with it. It's not only the rules he likes to break, but social norms as well. For instance, he is the kind of person who will cut in the line in front of others. In the same time he doesn't really leave tips and he might be stealing office supplies. He believes that traffic laws don't apply to him and dealing with narcissistic personality is difficult because he doesn't really respect appointments.
Poor judgment making
The bad boy narcissist image obviously implies that he cares not for society's expectations placed upon him and he breaks the rules at every chance he gets. When he crosses the line into law-breaking, that's your cue to get out of the narcissistic personality relationship. It's not worth the headache and consequences that come with a constant rule-breaker boyfriend. It may always start out as an exciting relationship. But try giving it a couple months and you will see the relationship is going nowhere fast. If it does go nowhere other than jail time for both of you, consider yourself lucky.
4. Crosses boundaries — shows no respect
There are numerous social boundaries that people do their best to respect, but not narcissistic people. You know that when you borrow something, you ought to give it back. Well, this is something that doesn't apply to narcissistic people.
Handling a narcissist relationship is quite demanding because these people don't care about others. This begs the question can a narcissist love? The truth is that the jury is still out on that one. Narcissists don't have any respect for others, for their possessions, thoughts, or opinions. For instance, they will borrow money or other things that they will never return. Their promises don't mean anything as they usually break them and obligations are only spoken words. If they are confronted with their faults, they show no remorse. Furthermore, they blame the other person. This means that you will be to blame for your partner's faults and actions. You can expect him to make a mistake and him to blame you.
No regard for society
Narcissists have no regard for other people's feelings or property. Respect is not a word in their vocabulary. They would rather live their life the way they want and pretend that nobody else exists but them. If you attempt to be an obstacle in his path of self-obsession, he will hate you. Narcissist in relationships feed off of validation for their own self-worth and don't respond to anything other than things that have to do with themselves.
5. Born sociopath — and you should be afraid of him
The goal of narcissistic people is for others to see them in a certain light and they don't care what they have to do in order to get there. They do all this so that people won't see what kind of a person they really are deep inside.
When thinking about narcissistic relationships, you should know that a narcissistic person will do anything to look exceptional compared to others. This is known as the "trophy" complex and they can exhibit themselves physically, socially, romantically, financially, materially, religiously, academically, professionally, or culturally. Narcissists will use other people, status, or their achievements to substitute their real self for a perceived self. In many cases their achievements are exaggerated. The main point is for the other people around them to know that they are better than them. They feel the need to be special and to prove that they deserve to be accepted, admired, and loved.
Narcissists in relationships can change their physical appearance to grab the attention of other women and to make other men envious. If you are wondering about love and relationships, you should know that narcissists don't necessarily cheat on their partners. If they have the admiration of other women, they don't necessarily act on it. However, they will cheat if it does well for their ego.
6. Grandiose sense of self — he is a hero
It is important for narcissistic men to be considered special by others. They must never blend in and this is what truly drives them. As a result they are willing to work more and sacrifice some things in their lives.
It is good to know that getting over a narcissistic relationship isn't as difficult as you might think. Narcissistic men think of themselves as a hero or a prince. Narcissistic people believe that they are of great importance and that the world wouldn't be the same without them. They also believe that they make great contributions. Naturally it's not about what they have to offer, but the way others treat them. They consider themselves very important and they expect people to treat them as such.
Why the relationship never works
There's often no explanation as to why they hold themselves in such high regard. They are full of confidence but faced with adversity often go in hiding. People who don't feed his ego often get forgotten about in his mind. This is why narcissism in relationships can't work: because the relationship revolves around you stroking his ego all the time. And that gets very old after a while. Eventually there has to be some mutual desire to keep the relationship going other than for his own validation. He doesn't really care about you or the direction of the relationship when he's only looking to get his rocks off.
7. Has two sides — like being two faced
Although you might think that this is the way these people are, the truth is that they have two sides. There is their true, vulnerable self and there is their false self. They do everything in their power to make people believe that their false self is their true self.
When asking can narcissists love, you have to ask yourself which one of his personalities you are referring to. There is his false self that he builds to show others. It is common for these people to be abusive and mean, but they can also be sweet and gentle. As a result women don't really know what to think and they might blame themselves for their partners' outbursts. He is a true abuser and even when he is gentle, he's not like that to be nice to you — again, it's all for him.
How to deal with a narcissistic relationship
The best advice anybody can give you about leaving a narcissistic relationship is to do it as soon as possible. Most probably he won't let you leave easily as it means that he has to face defeat. He might promise to change or to be better, but he never actually will.