Survive taking a break in your relationship
It’s all way too familiar by now: you too have met by chance, exchanged numbers, and went out on a first date. It might have been great or so-so. But you decided to go for another one. Eventually you realized that he might be everything you were looking for, and so the two of you have been dating for the last two and a half years.
You’ve been through both good and bad, you had your fights and your romantic nights, seaside getaways and dinners with parents. But for the last several months something simply seems different, and you can’t figure out what and why...
4 Ways to Survive a Break in Your Relationship: When Trouble in Paradise Occurs, and Both of You Feel Stuck, What Is There for a Girl to Do When the Time for Taking a Break from a Relationship Comes?
When an issue occurs in a relationship, it is always a good thing to stop and talk to your partner about it: Communication is usually the key to a successful relationship. But communication on its own can’t always solve each and every problem.
Sometimes you need to act in ways you never thought you would. Sometimes, you simply need to spend some time on your own, clear your mind, think about what it was that brought you to that point in your relationship, and then decide what to do next. When your relationship comes to that point, it would be good for you if you might start considering taking a break from a relationship. In that way, both of you will give yourself enough space for a decent introspection, a great opportunity to take a look at your problems from various points of view.
And we all know, it’s not easy, at that point you usually feel vulnerable and insecure enough about your entire relationship, and taking a break from a relationship seems only to make it worse. But the thing is, there are some things you can do to make the entire situation more bearable.
Dos and Don'ts
First of all, in order to avoid uncomfortable misunderstandings, set some rules about your behavior during the brake. Do this in order to avoid the uncomfortable Ross-and-Rachel situations (you know, ‘but we were on a break’ excuses).
So, together bring the decision on whether you should sleep with other people during your break. Agree on how long the break is going to last, but be reasonable about it. If someone says that they need a six-month break, they are obviously not serious about your relationship anymore. You don’t need him in your life anymore, so under no conditions you should agree on such terms.
Make sure the ground rules are Capt. Obvious
Also, decide whether and how often you will see each other during the break. Some couples who find themselves very uncomfortable with taking breaks in a relationship agree on seeing each other once a week or once in a fortnight. In that way, they still don’t lose the feeling of being in a relationship, stay in touch, and still have enough time to think about the problems in their relationship. And if you agree on seeing each other during that period, don’t be needy. If you act needy, the entire point of taking a break from a relationship is lost. Endure, because only in that way you two can see some results, whether you continue with your relationship or agree not to.
Focus on what and how you feel before doing anything you would regret later
Once you two have agreed on everything there is to agree about, you can start (not) enjoying the entire process of taking a break from your relationship. During that time, it is of crucial importance to focus on what and how you feel. In order to closely follow what happens with your emotions during that period, you can start writing a diary (if you already aren’t doing so). Keeping tracks of what’s going on inside your mind during your break can be really helpful when the time of making your final decision comes. If you are in doubt about how you felt while being apart, you can just turn a couple of pages and find out.
Go out and take a look around
Allow yourself to have a good time
Something most girls don’t allow themselves while taking a break in a relationship is having a good time. And that is a HUGE mistake. This is exactly the for spending time as you wish, especially if you are the main reason of your taking a break from a relationship was because you started feeling too repressed. Starts hanging out more with your friends meet new people, hang out with new people. This is a perfect opportunity for you to put your social life into a new context. Do so, and see whether you like it or not (pay attention: meeting new people doesn’t mean dating new people. If you and your boyfriend agreed on not dating others, DON’T). No matter what the outcome is, whether you like it or not: it is helpful, because your opinion about it can signify to you what you want from your relationship. Whether you want to stay where you were before, or you are willing to move on, this is the time when you will find out.
Find something to keep you busy
Just don’t forget that this doesn’t necessarily be a ‘rough patch’: this is a middle ground, enjoy what it has to offer. Do what you like doing, turn to your hobbies, start practicing yoga, work on yourself, and improve yourself.
Don’t lock yourself in your room wearing PJs and eating kilograms of chocolate, while watching reruns of every TV show there is. That won’t help you even a slightest bit. On the contrary, it will just help you feel more and more unhappy. And what you feel on the inside will soon start being visible on the outside, too. Bring yourself to shape and use this time the best way you can.
When the break is over, what am I to do next?
After all, isn’t this what taking a break from a relationship is all about? No one wants to do so if he or she doesn’t expect things to be better once the break is over. When the agreed time passes, and the two of you meet again, you should know exactly how you feel and where you stand in comparison to the world and where you had been before you started with the entire ‘break’ thing. Once you compare your thoughts and observations, together bring a decision on how you shall move on: whether taking a break from a relationship helped you realize that you want to stay in a relationship or that a breakup is inevitable. In case that you two have different opinions, bear in mind that nobody can force anyone to stay in a relationship if they don’t want to. Once again, if you don’t want to, you also shouldn’t be the echo in the Echo in the relationship (someone's Echo), dating a narcissist. There are warning signs that shouldn't be ignored, especially right after you begin dating.