He Might Be a Narcissist, but He Is the One
It can happen, it is possible, no matter whether you are familiar with troubles they can bring into your life or not. Narcissists. They can charm you, that's true. And they can seem harmless, that's also true. They can also be harmless. Not that everyone would agree on that one, but I'm pretty sure it's possible.
How to live with a narcissist boyfriend
1. Don't let him push you around
2. Don't internalize your problems
3. Allow yourself a place to escape
You Have Been Warned, You Have Been Talked out, but Still You're Here. Here Are the 3 Life Hacks That Make Living with a Narcissist Easier
What a person needs in order to successfully deal and/or live with a narcissist is the right approach.
What is narcissism?
But let's start from the very beginning. Narcissism in psychology is defined as Extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one's own talents and a craving for admiration, as characterizing a personality type, according to the Oxford Dictionary. And if after this definition the first thing that came to your mind was the self-proclaimed embodiment of a Greek god with whom you are sharing your loving home, be sure that you are living with a narcissist.
The less known term related to narcissism is the so called Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or shorter the NPD. My hopes are now that you are probably asking what Narcissistic Personality Disorder is. NPD is a pervasive disorder the main characteristics of which are self-centeredness, lack of empathy, and an exaggerated sense of self-importance. According to psychcentral.com it is a disorder that is diagnosed more frequently among male population, than female. Too bad for us, eh? But, according to the researches, only about 6.2 of the entire population are diagnosed with it. Luckily, signs you're dating a narcissist are easily recognizable if you happen to be looking in the right place.
But what happens if we stumble upon them, but we don't want to leave? Or, if some of you is already deep down in a relationship with such a person, and you don't wish to end it? That's okay, too. We are here today to help you with deal with the one you love (and who, accidently, really, really, loves himself, too). Here are some tips for those of you living with a narcissist boyfriend.
1. Leave the mirror alone and no one gets hurt!
Stand up for yourself
Just because he wants something badly, that doesn't mean you have to obey him. Especially not every-single-time. That is never a good idea, remember the bed-time story ‘If you give a mouse a cookie'? Once he realizes you'll agree to everything he wants, he will never stop demanding. Learn to stand up for yourself, but please do not do it in a way that you both remain stubborn until somebody walks away. Start negotiating!
Before talking to him, brainstorm a bit on what is it that you can agree with, and what is absolutely beyond reason for you. Be calm while approaching the subject, but slightly determined once you start discussing. Negotiating with a narcissist, just like living with a narcissist, is not always an easy thing to do, but with enough determination and thoughtfulness it can certainly be done.
2. Talk to me like love... No wait... Friends with understanding do
Don't keep it all to yourself. Find someone to share your burden with. Someone who understands you, and to whom you can talk about what bothers you. As we have already mentioned, and as you probably know if you live with one: living with a narcissist is not all so easy, but that shouldn't mean that you have to go through all of it on your own.
If you've got a friend to whom you can trust, let her know what you are going through. Who knows? Maybe she has a similar problem in her life and she can give you a helpful advice. Maybe she knows someone who does, so she can point to you to other people with similar experience.
Even if she doesn't, and if she is a good friend, she must have respect for you, and knowing that someone finds you respectful is always a nice thing to know. Living with a narcissist can negatively affect your confidence and your self-esteem, so rely on a friend to help you boost it a little. Hearing a nice word or two about yourself can have a great impact on you. Especially if you have a bad day, and the situation with your beloved modern Narcissus is getting off hand.
3. Justice for my happy place!
Treat yourself, young lady! Dealing with NPD on daily basis can be tiring on many levels, but it usually hits us on the emotional and psychological field. That is why, once in a while, you should treat yourself with something that really, really gets your serotonin and dopamine going.
Boost serotonin and Dopamine levels in your body
It could be anything, from a day at a spa center where you could enjoy hours of relaxing massage while lavender and cinnamon scented candles fresh up your senses, to arranging a visit to a friend who, by some chance, is selling a bunch of cute little puppies. Imagine spending a couple of hours playing with furry, little bundles of joy. Feeling better already? Yeah, me too.
Maybe you find yourself hanging at the swimming pool, next weekend visiting a crocheting course, and the week after that having a slumber party at your friend's house. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as it is something that makes you happy, and as long as it is a situation in which you don't have to bother if he will be there to ruin it with his attitude. Feel free to every once in a while arrange ‘your time' in any way you want, and enjoy every second of it. That is how, once you come back home to your self-proclaimed superior one, you will be refreshed and ready to deal with anything that comes your way. And also, if you are satisfied with yourself, that will probably, put him in a better mood, too. Good mood can be contagious.
Should you have to put up with living with a narcissist?
Living with a narcissist is not something every woman can put up with. It takes a lot of patience and energy to deal with everything that a narcissist brings into a relationship. Most women stop feeling happy in these kinds of relationships; and when it comes to that point, the healthiest thing to do is to end it. But sometimes it is not so, some women just want to deal with it. In that case, all you can do is support her and let her know that she is not alone.