RSS 2.0 - Slism

What Do Men And Women Really Want From Their Relationships

Wondering what your partner wants you to be? Let us walk you through the list of things men want in a relationship, and also see some additional advice on how to go about it. It will answer your question right away.

Question: What Men Want in a Relationship

Long term relationships usually start like any other, with a flutter of butterflies and a feeling of strong chemistry between two people. But after a while, they are rarely problem-free and uncomplicated. Even the happiest of couples sometimes have their arguments. However, if a couple is well matched, they will find a way to resolve whatever issues they may have and move on.

Young couple kissing.

It is just a matter of knowing yourself and your partner well, and making sure you both know what you do or do not want in a relationship and from each other. It’s all about mutual understanding and cooperation.

A List Of The Most Important Things Men And Women Are Looking For In A Relationship And From Their Partners

But how do we know if we are looking for the same things as our partner? Is there a big difference between what men want in a relationship compared to what women are searching for? As it turns out, not so much. Different people want different things in a relationship. Their ideas and needs are rooted in their personalities, life experiences, role models, and maturity rather than in gender. Still, here is a list of things men are generally looking for in a relationship, and what they do and don’t want in their partners.


Honest communication is the most important ingredient of any relationship. Without it, everything else is rendered pointless. It is necessary to tell your partner what you think and how you feel, and it is also necessary to carefully listen to what they have to say and make an effort to understand them.

Guy spinning a girl on the beach.

The one key mistake people make is that they don’t really listen to what their partner is saying, they simply just wait until it’s their turn to speak again. No communication, or not enough of it, will certainly lead your relationship downhill.

Emotional stability

For a relationship to last, people need to feel safe and relaxed with their partners. There has to be mutual trust, and an atmosphere of emotional stability. This may be a bit tricky to achieve during those turbulent teen years, and the hurricane that is early adulthood, but basically, if the couple are in sync with each other, it’s a good start towards a stable relationship.

Couple holding hands in a sunset in the shape of heart

Emotional maturity

This may not be obvious to some, but emotional maturity does not always have to be related to age. Meaning, the older partner does not always have to be the one that’s more emotionally mature. It is common knowledge that girls mature a little bit quicker than boys of the same age. Also, maturity is closely tied to experience.

Couple interlocking their fingers.

Sometimes, we have to live things to fully understand them. Be it directly or indirectly, experiences shape who we are and how we see the world, and also what we want and need from our relationships. It is preferable that both partners are at the same level of emotional maturity, as it is least likely to lead to issues.

Trust and Responsibility

People need to be able to trust and rely on their partners. This means that if you promise to do something, or to be there for your partner, or help out sometime, you can’t let them down. Another way of building trust is to take responsibility for one’s actions. Sometimes, this means apologizing. The absolute worst thing one can do to their partner is to refuse to admit a mistake.

Guy with a deer buckle holding his arms crossed.

This not only hinders honest communication, but lets them know that your pride is so important that you would rather have an argument and leave your partner upset than admit to an error. It takes a certain kind of courage and strength to admit to being wrong, that’s why people are usually reluctant to do it. However, it should be noted that sometimes, there is no use in pointing fingers and laying blame, if it will not improve the situation.

A challenge

Sometimes people become far too comfortable in their long term relationships, so it’s good to stir things up from time to time. Be playful with your partner. Make them chase after you a bit, and you jump a few hoops for them as well. Show that you care. Show that you are willing to make some effort. Depending on your partner, this could be as tricky as having an intellectually challenging conversation where you try to outsmart each other, or as simple as running across town to fulfil one of their whims.

Couple working out together.

As far as game playing goes, it is extremely treacherous grounds. Some people like to play games and be kept on their toes, but they like to do it with measure. If you and your partner both enjoy it, then it’s fine, but make sure that you know how far is too far. On the other hand, some people do not take kindly being kept on pins and needles, and will have little to no patience for such things. So, bottom line, it is extremely important to know your partner well.

Personal space

Although everyone likes to be wanted, sometimes people need personal space. If their partner is too needy, they will not be happy about this “me time”. If a partner is too sensitive, they might feel that the need for personal space is a sort of distancing or separation, and might assume that something is wrong. This is why communication and understanding are important, to avoid unneeded conflict and misunderstandings.

Guy water-skiing.

And finally, do all men cheat?

Claiming that all mean cheat makes as much sense as claiming that all women cheat. It is a sweeping generalization and a logical fallacy. There is no reason to claim that one gender is more likely to cheat than the other. Again, it all comes down to personality and circumstances. People who cheat do not do so lightly or without a reason, so if there is any suspicion, it should be examined.

Legs of a guy in red shoes.

People look for different things in relationships, but good communication, emotional stability, emotional maturity, trust, responsibility, a challenge and personal freedom are most likely to be on the top of everyone’s list. It is important to know your partner well enough to know what they are looking for, and to know yourself well enough to know if you can or if you even want to fit that description. Once that is put out of the way, everything should go smoothly.

By Abie Giles

Recommended for you