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6 Common Signs of Verbal Abuse You Should Look Out for

It is common for women to overlook or brush off the signs of verbal abuse, finding all kinds of excuses for their partners. However, this isn't a normal situation and it needs to be dealt with.

Signs of Verbal Abuse to Be Prepared for

Remember that you only live once and you should try to make the best of your life you possibly can. This means that there is no room for verbal abuse from husband signs, signs of verbal abuse from parents, or signs of verbal abuse in children. You deserve to have a partner who respects you and supports you and you have to reason to be with someone who abuses you in any way. To make sure that this won't be the case, you should know about the common signs to realize when it is time to make a change. Nobody can make you stay in a relationship you're not happy in.

verbally aggressive man pointing something out with finger to women in purple shirt

1. Thinking before speaking

Everybody thinks before they speak, but why do they do that? Normally it's because they don't want to say something silly. However, it is one of the verbal abuse signs if you have to think before speaking because you think you will be yelled at.

2. The good times

Do you remember the last time you had a good time with your partner? For sure your friends have numerous nice memories to share, but do you have any of those? If you can't remember the last time you felt good about your relationship, it is a warning sign.

3. Flipping the script

Did you ever confront your partner about their abusive behavior? Did he manage to flip the script and make it look like you are the bad guy of the relationship? It is one of the signs of verbal and emotional abuse if he can always turn the story around.

4. Your inner voice

Do you ever find that little voice inside your head telling you to leave the relationship behind? This is your instinct or subconscious or whatever you want to call it. While it might not be always right, this is the time to listen to it.

5. Being passive-aggressive

The thing about passive aggressive people is that they don't attack you upfront, they find sneaky ways to make you feel bad about yourself and they even tell you they are sorry (although they're not). Such signs of a verbal abuser are quite easy to spot.

6. You can't win

Did you ever manage to convince him that you are right about something? If you feel like whatever you do, you just can't win, it might be a sign that there is something wrong. You should feel like you are equals and there is always the possibility for you to be right.

Learn to Recognize the Signs of Verbal Abuse so That You Will Know When It Is Time to End a Relationship

What is there to know about the signs of verbal abuse in a relationship? Is it really only about the way he talks to you?

1. Thinking before speaking is key

possibly depressed woman with hand on forehead holding up hair thinking
Look before you leap

All sane people think before they speak. This is what makes us human. However, the reasons might be different. When it comes to verbal abuse signs, you should ask yourself whether you think before you speak because you don't want to seem stupid or because you may get in trouble because of the things you say. If it is the later, you should ask yourself whether or not you're in an abusive relationship. What happens is you say something your partner doesn't like? Does he scream or yell at you or call you derogatory names? If so, you are faced with one of the signs verbal abuse relationships.

In case you are wondering about the signs of verbal and emotional abuse, you should consider what you think a normal relationship should be like. Is your relationship anything like the one you have in mind? Do you feel like you can speak your mind with your partner or you always have to watch your mouth?

2. The good times and the bad

grayscale image of couples having good time at beach
You should be able to remember the good times

When you get together with your girlfriends, for sure all of them are talking about the good times they have with their partners. Do you remember times like these? You should know it is one of the verbal abuse signs and symptoms if you only remember the bad times in your relationship. You could be thinking about yelling, arguing, fighting, name calling, and so on. If your relationship isn't something you are happy to talk about, why would you be willing to put up with it on an everyday basis? Do you still go out with your boyfriend, or you stopped altogether because each time you go out it ends badly? This is a red flag for signs of verbal abuse in a spouse.

You might think you don't see the signs of a verbal abuser, but just because you manage to find excuses for him it doesn't mean that he is the right man for you. As a matter of fact, it is said that people always know when they have found "the one". Is he "the one"?

3. Flipping the script – making it all your fault

two fingers pointing at each other
It's not me, it's you

For sure you have been upset about your boyfriend's behavior before and you may have confronted him about it. How did he react? Did he get upset and manage to twist your words until it all looked like you are the bad guy? This is one of the signs of verbal abuse in relationships. It is simply impossible for you to be at fault all the time. You may start a conversation knowing where you want to go with it, but somehow he will twist it and turn it and you will end up in tears. These are the people who simply can't take responsibility for their mistakes. Furthermore, they might say that you are too sensitive.

The funny thing about the signs of emotional and verbal abuse is that these people aren't shy about pointing out the "flaws" of others. For instance, if you tell your boyfriend that he said something hurtful, he might turn things around and say that you can't take a joke (even if it wasn't intended to be one).

4. Your inner voice is always right

thinking woman in glasses with hand on chin
Always listen to your instincts

Everybody has that little voice inside their head and that doesn't make us look crazy. What does your inner voice tell you? Are you in a good relationship or you should run and never look back. When thinking about the signs of verbal and emotional abuse in a relationship, you should know that this voice is never wrong. In many cases women can't put their finger on the problem, they just know that there is something wrong and it is a way of recognizing verbal abuse.

It is common for people to hush this voice saying that it is unreasonable and everything is fine. However, if everything is fine, how come a part of you wants to activate your self-preservation mechanism? This is the kind of reaction that the signs of verbal bullying will induce in you. Let's say you're wrong and everything is in order. Still, isn't it better to be safe than sorry?

5. Being passive-aggressive is a weapon

man making that face when he thinks he is being nagged
Not only direct altercations can wound you

We already mentioned the people saying that they were only joking when in fact they say hurtful things and this signs verbal abuse. Deep inside these people know that what they are doing is wrong, but they still do it and when they see you are upset, they try to make it all better by saying that you don't have a sense of humor. Another line that they really like is "I don't understand why you are getting so upset". If you're not sure about what they have done wrong, this could be a very confusing line. Really, what are you upset about? The third line to look out for is "I'm sorry you feel that way". The truth is that he's not sorry and he doesn't say that he was wrong. He actually says that the problem is with your feelings, so, basically, you are the problem. All these lines are verbal abuse relationship signs.

6. You can't win whatever you do

couple back to back in conflict on sidewalk
You just don't stand a chance

All couples have arguments from time to time, but it is one of the emotional verbal abuse signs if you feel like you can never win. Most probably you tried different approaches when you would bring up a problem and they all end up with you feeling like you are fighting a battle you cannot win. This is just wrong. It is impossible for you to be wrong all the time. Even more, some people are so good that they even manage to convince you that you are wrong. Does that sound familiar? It'd better not, as it is one of the husband verbal abuse signs.

It is of the upmost importance that you recognize signs of verbal abuse, including the verbal abuse signs in children and parental verbal abuse signs.

By Abie Giles

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