Relationship Rules 101
Many of us wonder why a relationship that used to be beautiful, exciting in the beginning, turns into a nightmare in the end. And in some cases a nightmare can be an understatement. We tend to forget common reasons why we are in a relationship, and the image of our partner becomes distorted. Slightly dissatisfied because the things are not going the way we thought they would we, sometimes even unconsciously, react. And yes, we start to treat him differently.
We project what’s bothering us on him, and the change is easy to be spotted. And to fix the bug in our relationship, we have to agree that it exists and start working on it. Yet, unbelievable as it may seem, there is a way around all of it. Stick around for some mind-blowing yet completely rational relationship rules in love that will make your relationship completely different.
6 Mistakes most women make in a relationship that you should not be doing if you want to be happy
We cannot say that there are definite 'relationship rules' that each relationship has to follow, however, every relationship is the same when certain things are in question. And these things are in our control, not in the control of destiny as many of us have learned from fairy tales. From time to time, you should ask yourself 'What mistakes do you make in a relationship?' It doesn't depend on the type of people that are in love, so these 'deadly sins' or loosely put, relationship mistakes, should be avoided by everyone. So, keep your eyes peeled, your mind open and get ready for some changes - for the better.
Neglecting ''the little things''
The small things matter
Every relationship consists of small and big things. These things can be considered as little and big relationship rules. But we can safely say that both matter. And everyone makes mistakes in a relationship from time to time. The most important thing is not to make the big mistakes in a relationship, and to have understanding, tolerance, and make compromises for each other. Since today's world is so busy, sometimes you don't have enough time to discuss the issues that bother you, or even have time to do little things for each other. But it’s precisely little things that make our everyday lives. And if we start neglecting those things, our everyday lives start getting more empty and pointless, and we eventually get stuck in a routine that is rather grayish and uninteresting.
That is why it's crucial to talk about the little things that bother you: it’s communication that helps you work things out in time. To prevent the same thing happening again (and i will if you stop paying attention) try to find a little time each week to surprise your partner with something he likes. It might be his favorite kind of chocolate, a homemade meal, or just playing the song that he likes. You are the one who knows your guy, you’ll figure it out. Just try not to make a big relationship mistake when it comes to little relationship things, and don't eat yourself up if you do make a mistake. Relationships are difficult, and relationship mistakes are very common.
Put your partner aside
Putting everything in the first place, just not him
Ultimately, this is what not to do in a relationship. If there is one relationship rule that you have to obey like it's sanctity it’s probably this one. One of the biggest mistakes you can make in a relationship is to put your partner last. You might have children, or a busy job, or that best friend you adore so much you just want to be with her all the time. Those are all legit reasons, but you should always pay attention to the needs of your partner. If he feels that his not getting enough of your time, he’ll might stop trying to share his with you. If even while you’re busy you find enough time to text him to see how he’s doing, or to arrange a quick cup of joe, would seem to him as a prize for being patient and understanding when your obligations are concerned. And he truly will appreciate it if he cares and respects you. Balance everything in such a way that nobody feels put aside. After all, your partner is the one who gives you emotional and physical support, if you know what I am saying. Make these small steps in a relationship, and it will get better and better, and your love will become stronger with each day.
Don't forget your dreams
You should never sacrifice yourself
This is one of the biggest relationship mistakes. And this is also what we meant when we previously mentioned balance. If you shouldn’t neglect his needs, you shouldn’t neglect yours, too. Everyone has certain life expectations and goals, as well as dreams. Just because you are committed to another human being, doesn't mean you should neglect them. Neither of you should. It takes two for a relationship to work, and both of you have wishes and desires you would (and should) pursue. We can’t emphasize enough how important it is for you think about your own happiness while balancing his. This is something you must do in a relationship.
Keep your character, personality, your goals and dreams: they are a part of who you are. After all, it is why your partner fell in love with you, so don't change yourself, if the future plans don't suit your partner. If you don’t like who you are, and you are not satisfied with your achievement, it will affect how you feel about everything else in your life: even your partner. So in order to avoid being in a bad relationship, and instead have a healthy, happy relationship, it’s you who has to be happy in the first place.
So find a way to make it work. Compromise. Make him work it out with you. But if he is not willing to help you avoid ending up in a bad relationship, be sure that he is not the guy you want to be with.
Let him solve the problem
Don't abandon him with a heap of problems
Lots of women expect their husbands to be unstoppable heroes that can deal with any problem and danger put in front of them. But real-life relationships are nothing like fairy tales and illusions film industry likes us to believe in. That is why we should remind you that our heroes don't always know what the right thing to do is, and what you need help with. Rather than bashing him for not fixing something or helping you with his initiative, sit down with him and have a nice talk. Ask for his help, and be direct. Then he will be aware of the problem, and part of the responsibility will be his to take care of. Men sometimes need more obvious signs before they figure out that we need their help with something. That is why we will always recommend regular communication rather than anything else.
Yes, communication is not always their bright side, but they will appreciate it more if you make it obvious right away that there is something you should work on, rather than playing hide and seek with them. Don't put too much stress on your partner or you will be on the road to having a bad relationship. Men are not psychics (and we know, as well, that intuition is not their brighter side, either), and they definitely don't think like women. We wouldn't want them to, either, because than we would have problems that no advice could solve. Relationship rules aren't that hard as they seem ladies, as long as you commit to it.
Putting everything under the carpet
Sometimes, the mistakes you make in love, you can hardly get over. If you find something to be a problem, don't be quiet. Speak your mind if something is bothering you. Although we wish they were, men are not mind readers. Solve your problems once they pop up, and not when they get so terrible, that you explode. Then, what you’ll get is either a terrible fight or an ugly elephant waiting for you to kick him out of the room. Women tend to be ticking bombs waiting to explode, because they don't want to be naggers. But waiting until the last minute is never a good idea. You end up driving yourself insane, and he’ll get more irritated with every new explosion.
Jump over smaller obstacles every time you confront one. Work on your relationship. Be reliable, you are not partners just because. You are there to cooperate and support each other. Don’t ever lose that from your sight. It's not considered nagging if you don't yell at each other, and communicate in a tone that will suit both of you. Nagging is something different, you’ll see…
'Always' and 'Never'
Avoid these words as much as you can
The last of the relationship rules is this one, and it is a golden one! The more you utilize these two annoying words, the more you make your partner feel unimportant. Don't generalize your sweetheart, and overanalyze his every action. He is a human being after all, with facial hair and a raspy voice, but he has his good and bad sides. Refrain from saying 'You never take me out', 'You always leave your dirty socks on the floor', because the truth is ladies, it's annoying and it's not going to change him. Ne it truth or not, it can hurt and intimidate him. Let alone you being successful in annoying him. Take a look at it this way - he was your choice, and you trust your instincts don't you? Work on your choice, and don' undermine it by 'always' nagging him and 'never' complimenting him. After all, it’s not like us women are all that perfect, but you don’t hear guys nagging all the time (well, most likely).
Men need positive reinforcement as well, sometimes even more than we do: and they will perform better in each aspect of your love life once they know they will be appreciated for it- and that's something they don't tell you in the rule book of relationships. But that is why we are here for you!
It all comes down to simple things…
As you can see from the points we have made so far: it doesn’t take a nuclear physicist to look into and figure out the rules that would make a relationship better. The truth is: relationships are complex, but it takes simple things, like a box of chocolate or a nice talk, to make it better.
If it’s going to last, you must be aware that it can’t always be milk and honey. For a lasting relationship, you and your guy need to be partners who will be ready to work with each other and on each other. Otherwise, it simply doesn’t make sense.
If the two of you just want to be together for the sake of being able to tell others that you are in a relationship, there will be nothing more to it than a simple statement (or financial benefit, if that’s what you are into: but that can make a relationship be more of a business). But if you find yourself a guy who is willing to fight for you, argue with you, and talk to you, and you are willing to do the same for him, you’ve got what it takes for a successful relationship.
Remember to follow these relationship rules and be patient. You don't have to have a bad relationship. These steps will make your relationship grow with each day, and transform itself into a loving and caring one, that you can only see in the movies, or read in romantic books. In the end, we all need someone that will take care of us, love us, and hold us, and doing these little things is not so hard, for the person who is going to do all that for us!