The Secret to Reading People: Pay Attention to Details
Using verbal and nonverbal cues we can see past the guarded exterior that many people use to protect themselves. Body language and facial expression are the keys to reading people. What’s even better is that you can even start working on techniques that can help you read body language and spot attraction from a mile away.
Rely on your intuition and spot things that you wouldn’t have noticed before using some of these techniques. You don’t have to be a member of the CIA to figure out what’s happening inside someone’s head. Just look out for the common signals to solve the puzzle. A person’s habitual behavior is a good indicator of what’s on their mind. Observe their behavior over time and anything can be discovered.
Reading People is Effective when You Take an Interest in Someone by Asking Them Questions. Once You Get Them to Open Up, You Can Find Out Their Secrets
Reading people just got a little bit easier. Follow these guidelines to detect inconsistencies in their behavior and find out if they are genuine or lying to you.
1. Body Language
Body language is so important in today’s society, and by far the most important factor when reading people. Why is this becoming such a complex topic? Because apparently lately people have become true experts in hiding their emotions. It’s difficult in today’s society to know what people’s true intentions are, unless we can spot the warning signs. Remember that there are certain universal signals to look out for.
Is His Body Language Open or Closed?
Arms crossed, head down, shoulders tense, gaze averted? Chances are that they are indirectly telling you that he is not genuine with what he says and you should be cautious of your next move. These nonverbal cues are indications that he is not completely comfortable and doesn’t want to talk to you at the present moment. If his body is facing you and is engaged in the conversation: That means that his guard is down and he is more likely to talk to you directly and honestly.
2. Facial Expression
Being able to read people’s facial expression is a skill learned over time. Engaged in conversation, people are not conscious about their facial muscles most of the time. When the conversation gets emotional, people tend to react in a way that leaves their facial cues (either positive or negative, depending on the situation) open for your analysis.
What Do His Eyes Say?
Are his eyes warm and welcoming? Are they focused and interested in you? Or is his gaze easily distracted? These are all common indicators of what is on a person’s mind. If we can pay attention to their eyes, we can look into their soul. When people smile, we know their smile is genuine if their eyes are also smiling. Reading people’s eyebrows can also yield results, as they are an easy indicator if someone seems surprised or confused. Eyes can show extreme emotions coming from both ends of the emotional spectrum.
3. Ask Questions
Asking questions is a lost concept among the narcissist modern society where everyone thinks the world revolves around themselves. If you ask questions, it’s more likely you will be able to get someone to open up. When you take an interest in people, you will find out things you wouldn’t have otherwise just by observing his behavior. Rumors and judgments can only take you so far. But asking questions effectively can give you truth.
Don’t just change topics suddenly. Keep asking for the reasons behind his answers and you will get him to open up. Eventually you will get him to say things about himself he wouldn’t normally tell a stranger. And there’s a proof that showing interest can help you get people around you to open up: Asking questions doesn’t hurt anybody and only helps you in reading people.
4. Use Personal Space to Your Advantage
Cultures differ when it comes to the notion of personal space. Some people keep their distance while some are less inhibited with their required space. In most cases though, you can penetrate a person’s emotional armor by getting close to them. You can tell if you’ve passed their threshold for personal space if they start looking uncomfortable. Read their body language in order to find the sweet spot for talking to someone.
To read people effectively, sometimes you need to make them comfortable with you quickly. There is no better way to do that than through physical touch. The key to mutual understanding is to break the touch barrier. This is the difference between gaining trust and losing it. And that’s due to the fact that physical distance creates emotional distance as well.
5. Mirror Them
The more you practice recognizing his communication style, the more effective you will be at reading people in any social interaction. In order to size him up, you need to learn how to communicate effectively. And that means empathizing with others and their stories. The best way to empathize with others is through mirroring them.
Mirror Their Movements
Imitation is the best form of flattery. So next time you have a conversation, pay attention to the body language of a person you are talking to and copy them. Do it subtly so they don’t notice you are copying them. The point of imitating their movements is to become better connected with them. Your gestures are subconsciously showing them that you are actually listening. He will be more likely to open up to you about his secrets if you are acting like life-long friends rather than acquaintances.
Mirror Their Emotions
You can read someone without ever even paying attention to the content of the conversation. By simply mirroring their facial expressions and repeating the last word of everything he says, you are showing him you are paying attention. Furthermore, you are building trust just by the simple act of imitation. Connecting with someone is a spiritual phenomenon; if you are able to connect with someone than you are able to feel and think the same things they are. When immersed in deep conversation like this you are learning things about people that they might not know about themselves.
What About It? Reading People Is Just One of Those Skills Worth Keeping Sharp as Possible Because You Never When You Will Need It to Get Yourself out of a Communication Deadend
How good are your people skills? How often do you work on them? It seems that modern society more and more insists on the necessity of constantly improving our people skills. And to tell the truth, they can be quite helpful in both our professional and personal life. So why don’t we try harder with acquiring them? Reading people is just one of those skills. However, it is an important one. No matter whether you are only pushing your way through high school or looking for a job, one of your secret weapons should be your people skills, predominantly the ability to read people.
Why is it so, you might wonder. Well, sometimes it is really important which approach you are using when communicating with other people. And if you don’t want to go wrong and do something someone would consider repelling, you should at least know the basics to reading people.
Of course, it all, including reading facial expressions, requires a certain amount of practice, but that shouldn’t be much of a problem: After all, we do communicate with other people on a daily basis, right? So what is it that is actually stopping us from making progress? Are those our own insecurities? Or our own lack of motivation?
Whatever it is, the cause of it are probably ourselves. And that means that it’s probably time for some introspection. We ourselves mustn’t stand in the way of our own success. We must strive to be better with every single day. Learn to motivate yourself. Work on your skills.