Survive a Breakup: Coping and Getting Your Life Back on Track
More or less, every one of us goes through at least one breakup situation before we decided to settle up with the right one. But, the question is- how to handle the breakup when it happens and be ready for new experiences, how to get emotionally recovered and enjoy the next relationship without fear of being hurt again? Should we talk a break in our relationship? Some people recommend taking a break in a relationship, before a break up, because it is considered to be a thing that could help, but is it always possible? Here is what some people say about it. Check out these easy steps to see how other people get through tough times like a breakup.
How to Survive a Breakup
1. Mourn your loss
Even if it might sound strange, it is ok to be sad and to miss him. That doesn't mean that it will last forever. A lot can be done to go through sadness and recover.
2. Stay active to keep your mind off him
Try to get busy and think of many nice things that can happen to you, not only about him and how sad you are. Focus on your goal and don't look back too much.
3. Have emotional support
If you have friends, you have everything you need to handle this properly, because they will be there for you, they will listen to you and probably give advices that will lead you out of your state.
4. Don't be his doormat
Do your best not to let yourself be his doormat. Meet new people, find someone who will appreciate you and be happy to have you in his life and don't stay with those who treat you like they don't care about you.
5. Have a busy schedule
Busy schedule can help a lot with keeping your mind off him and it can even lead to potentially finding the right one. Going out, hanging out with friends and getting to know many interesting people is always a good way to focus on your goal- keep your mind off him.
6. Don't try to find a replacement
It's not a good idea to look for someone to replace him, especially not while everything is fresh and still hurts. Give yourself some time, let the wounds heal and then go out as a fresh person and give it a shot with someone completely different.
7. Don't be a stalker
Let's be honest, social networks make stalking easier than ever. All you need to do is click twice and there you are, checking out his photos, comments and people he is hanging out with. It is never a good idea to stalk your ex, because- simple, he is ex and that is where he belongs. Instead of him, try to check out on that cute guy you met the other day, maybe he could be the right one, some day.
Coping with a Breakup and How to Bounce Back in 7 Empowering Steps That Will Make You Feel Like a New Person
So, what could you do to survive a breakup and recover quickly? It is not as hard as it might feel, while you are sad, but all you need is to read through and find out all the things you could do to feel better. Never forget that it is completely ok to ask other people for an advice, because you never know who has the magical word you need to hear.
1. Mourn your loss: it's perfectly fine to be sad
Being sad is ok
Mourn your loss. It is hard to change your life after someone was part of it for a while, because he was an important part of your everyday structure, but what has to be done, it's better to be done efficiently. Allow yourself to be sad, to cry at night, even to miss him, but always have in mind that it's over and your goal is to move on. it is perfectly fine to be sad, but keep your eyes on the goal in front of you, don't look back all the time. After all, once you get tired of being sad, things in your life might just start getting better and better every day.
2. Stay active to keep your mind off him: fill your day up
Active life can make you feel better
It is also very important, during a breakup recovery to stay active to keep your mind off him, and although it might sound weird with an advice to let yourself think about him, here is the catch- think about him from the understanding point and do your best to figure out why things were bad and how it ended up like it did, but keep your mind off him in the sense of imagining two of you back together again, fixing things, even fantasizing about a perfect relationship with him, because wishes could lead you into expecting something you want badly from a person who is not able to fulfill those expectations. Sometimes, it can be tricky and it can hurt, so stay on your track. Since it is hard to stop thinking about the thing that is bothering you the most, try to plan your day and fill it up with interesting activities. Take part in an interesting course in a local art school or go out with friends you neglected lately. Apart from making yourself happy and staying with your goal, you might make someone else happy, as well.
3. Have emotional support: surround yourself with people that care
Friends are always there for you to comfort you
A good way to stay on the track of coping with a breakup is to have emotional support. You have friends who know you very good, you have many new people to meet, there are interesting events you might visit or even take a part in some course. Friends are mostly a very good emotional support, because bottom line- they love and care about you way more than about your ex. They will be there to listen to your stories many times, over and over again, until even you get bored of saying them, which would mean that you are getting over it. That is a good sign. It is also good to have conversations with friends because they might give you an advice, or some interesting idea about handling your situation. For an example, getting a new pet might give you a new someone to love and be loved in return, without fear that you might get hurt again.
4. Don't be his doormat: you are nobody's doormat
Respect yourself so others would respect you as well
Even if you feel lonely after breakup, don't let yourself be his doormat, because no one likes pathetic people who do not appreciate themselves. Raise your head up high and smile, because you never know who might fall in love with your beautiful eyes. No matter how lonely after breakup you might feel, it is not a good idea to lower your self esteem because of a person who was not a good match for you. Not being good for each other, in a relationship does not mean that any of you are bad people, you simply do not fit each others idea about a perfect partner, so the relationship could not work out. Being sad and lonely and feeling like no one loves you might lead you into a certain type of behavior that is no good for you nor your partner. Do not compromise with your life principles just to get back a partner who does not like you the way you are.
5. Have a busy schedule: don't forget girl's night
Make plans for every day
Have a busy schedule they say, because thinking about so many interesting things you could be doing every single day will make you think less about him, even if you were trying to do it (remember the previous step- try not to) but even though it is a good thing, since it will help you skip fantasizing about your ex, it is not good to have a too busy schedule, because you might end up exhausted in the end of the day, and that is not your goal. You need to survive a breakup, not to get exhausted and feel stressed. That is why you need to make a small daily schedule and see which are time- frames you could use for some interesting activity. Everything from seeing friends, to going shopping, visiting museums and taking parts in various sport activities might do good to you- your body as well as your mind. It is not just a coincidence that one old Greek saying states- in a healthy body is a healthy spirit. So, go out and find your new healthy habit that will refresh your every day.
6. Don't try to find a replacement: don't force it
Find someone who will make you feel good
Once you are getting better, you might want to replace him, because you do need a person in your life, but don't try to find a replacement. Instead of that, try to get to know someone and find out what else you might like in a person, don't just keep searching for same things you liked with your ex. It might be a trap. Looking for same things might lead you to similar people, which mostly ends up in a very similar way, and that is something you would not like to experience, right? If you realized at some point that one specific type of a guy is not good for you, be brave, search for something new in a person, let them show their own magic, don't try to put them in a pattern you know good, and you might be pleasantly surprised. It is your responsibility to handle your own destiny, not to blame people for being all the same all the time, because you have the power to change it. Just be brave and explore the unknown.
7. Don't be a stalker: don't do that
It is better to focus on new people, than to check out on exes
The last but not less important is- don't be a stalker. Yes, do not try to find out where he is, who is he seeing and who is that girl you saw him with, the other day. Don't wait behind the corner and accidentally run into him, don't take long walks around his neighborhood and hold yourself back from checking social networks for more info about him, because his private life is not anymore part of your private life. Whatever you might find out about him is not important for you, anymore, because you want to go forward, to grow as a person and have a high quality life with people who love you, not to stay in one spot hoping for something that might never happen, or even worse- that would not be good for you if it happens. Plus, it is uncomfortable for the other one to feel that there is someone watching his every move, all the time.