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How to Overcome Jealousy in Past Present and Future Relationships

To make up ones mind to find different ways might seem easy enough, but practicing those methods is what really tests a person. Overcoming jealousy is not an easy task. It takes a lot of effort especially when reasons to be jealous keeps presenting themselves even when you are trying to get your emotions under control. It is however not an impossible task if you try these simple tips.

Tips on overcoming jealousy in your relationship with him

Many people will say that being jealous is a normal part of any relationship. What most persons fail to admit however that jealousy in relationships is usually a negative thing, causing strain and discomfort for one or both parties.

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Here are a few tips on how to overcome jealousy. At the present, you may find that some tips are much easier to follow than others. Being jealous is not a physical thing that can be fixed easily by the push of a button, it involves emotions, and that is what makes it so complicated. Here are some proven ideas on how to overcome jealousy in a relationship.

Find the Cause; overcoming jealousy by looking at the root of the problem

Finding the reason why you are jealous might sound easy but, maybe taking a closer look behind your initial reason is a good option, especially if you consider him someone you will still be with in the future. If you feel that you are jealous of your boyfriend’s ex girlfriend for example, taking a closer look might change your perspective and how you feel. Overcoming jealousy of past relationships is sometimes difficult First you will need to analyze why you feel threatened by that ex, is it the idea that your boyfriend was once intimate with that person? Or do your feelings go a bit beyond that where you are thinking that he might go back to that past relationship? Finding the root of why you are feeling jealous is a great way to start.

Erasing insecurities; overcome jealousy by feeling comfortable in your relationship

At the root of most, if not all relationship problems is jealousy, at the root of most problems regarding jealousy, is the deeper problem of insecurity. Feeling insecure in a relationship can stem from getting reasons from your spouse, or it can be as a result of past bad relationships or sadly, some persons are naturally paranoid in their relationships. Being insecure will definitely put a strain between you, your spouse and the relationship at large. Erasing those insecurities will take time but that task is not impossible. The first step is to speak openly about the thing or things that you feel insecure about. This will put things on the table and create a space where you can both better understand each other. Jealousy feeds off other relationship problems, insecurity is one of them.

Improve Communication; overcoming jealousy in relationship can mean stepping up the communication process

Most problems in a relationship are caused by a lack of communication. Improving the communication process in a relationship won't erase problems like it’s a magic wand but it sure makes those problems easier to deal with. Managing communication can mean a lot of things. The focus can be the mode of communication; the context in which information is exchanged and what you usually talk about as a couple. If talking face to about problems gets no result, try texting or vice versa. Texting might allow you to fully express what you have on your mind without the fear of interruption from your spouse. Explain to him what you are jealous about and why. You might not both see eye to eye on all issues but improved communication will limit jealous rages and will sometimes lead to an improved relationship.

Know your spouse; Overcoming jealousy in a relationship is easier when you are in the know

Many people get jealous because they have too many unanswered questions in their relationship. They are sometimes afraid of asking relevant questions because they like things just the way they are. This can be just a fear of the unknown, ever heard the phrase “no news is good news”? Knowing the basics of the relationship is not enough. It makes no sense to be in a committed relationship if you don’t know who your guy associates with. Knowing more than the average details about his daily life can help a lot to diminish fears and feelings of jealousy. For example, if you know that he works with a female you probably won't get too jealous if you heard he is hanging out with a woman at work. Women have gotten jealous over their guy’s sister. Why? Because she didn’t know.

Spend time apart; overcoming jealousy in relationships by giving it breathing space

No this doesn’t mean packing your bags and moving out to find where you want to be. There are simpler ways to ensure that you both get ''alone'' time while together. You need to understand that being a couple doesn't mean spending endless time together every second, minute or hour of the day. Being a part is a good thing as it gives you much-needed time to explore your own individuality. Take the time to pamper yourself and give him his space. The more you try to stifle him with your presence the more he will yearn for other people’s company. The more you understand that breathing space that is needed for the relationship to grow, the less worried you will be about where he goes and who he is with when he us away from you. It helps you both to be more trusting.

Understand your partner

Have a clear understanding of who you are with. Get to a point where you understand him enough that you don’t need to be jealous of anyone else. If you both form a close bond with a clear understanding of where the relationship is and where it is heading, jealous won't be an issue. Know that not every movement on his part requires a jealous reaction from your end.  Some minor issues can seriously be ignored
Love alone is not enough to keep a relationship going. Some of the most lasting relationships are built on trust. Having your partner who you can wholly trust limits time wasted on jealous.

By Abie Giles

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