How to Deal with a Bully – You Can Make Them Stop
There are more people looking for anti-bullying solutions than you might think (especially if they're struggling with childhood obesity). If you ask someone how to deal with bullies, there are two basic answers you might get: you should either stand up to them or accept the situation and wait for the bully to get bored of bullying you. If you come to think of it, none of these solutions are really ideal. However, if you wish to stop bullying now, you might be desperate enough to try anything you hear. The truth is that since you are already bullied, there isn't much that could go wrong. What will they do? Bully you? They're already doing it, so basically nothing will change.
How to Deal with a Bully - What Can You Do to Make Them Stop Bullying You and All the People around You
So, how to stop bullying? What is there for you to do to make the bully leave you alone and go bully someone else or stop bullying altogether?
1. You just have to bear it
Blending in helps
Remember the time you asked an uninterested adult about how to deal with a bully and they said that you should just bear it? Although at that time they just wanted to get rid of you, they might have had a point. If you know that bullying is a temporary situation, this might be a good solution for you. Keep in mind that bullies target the people who stand out. If there is a possibility for you to blend in, you have good chances for the bullying to stop. However, you will need other ways to stop bullying if there is something about you that will always make you stand out.
You might think that tattling is a nasty thing to do, especially if you are young, but in some cases this is the best strategy. In case you see the signs of bullying at your workplace, tattling might be your best option. This is because the majority of companies take complaints of this kind very seriously. Remember that tattling is effective only if it has serious consequences. If the bully will only get a warning, you can expect the problem to become worse. In case of children, tattling means breaking an unwritten code. As a result they will only isolate themselves more from their counterparts and they might end up being lonely.
3. You should seem larger
Remove yourself the target for bullying
For sure you have seen animals use this tactic. For instance, cats arch their backs to make themselves look larger. Although this is not an option for you, there are other ways to prevent bullying. You don't have to make yourself look larger literally. You could think about what makes you a target instead. What is so special about? What makes you stand out from the crowd? It could be something about the way you dress, about your hair or about the things you talk about. If you really want to blend in, you should follow the lead of the others and find out about the hottest topics of the moment. You will fit in in no time.
4. You could have a witness
Bring a friend
Let's face it: anybody could say that they are being bullied. But what if you had a witness? In order to stop the bullying, it might be a good idea to unmask the bully. If you know that there is a time and place they like to pick on people (or you), you should arrange for someone to be around to hear/see them bully you. You might think that it's a good idea to record them bullying you, but first you have to make sure whether or not this is legal. The good news about solutions to bullying is that in the majority of the cases there is CCTV footage already available. You could use this as well to unmask them.
5. You should confront the bully
"Stop bullying me!"
In case you are wondering how to stop a bully, you should know that in some cases the only thing that will really work is to confront the bully. You could do this on your own if you think you are strong enough. If not, you could make sure you have a witness or you could hire a solicitor to do it for you. You could also involve the police if you think that they would hurt you. The truth is that bullies like to keep their identity hidden and they don't want people to know about them. However, if you expose them, most probably the bullying will stop and you won't have to worry about them ever again.
6. Never act out
End it there
If you would like to know how to handle a bully, you should also know what you shouldn't do. The first rule is not to act out. It's not someone else's fault that you can't stand up to bullying. For sure you have heard the tale of the man with a bullying boss, who went home and shouted at his wife, who, in turn, slapped her eldest son, who punched the little sister. She pulled the dog's tail and the dog bit the postman. Remember that rage is very much like a disease: it spreads rapidly and once it's out there, there is no stopping it.
7. Returning the abuse
Don't become the bully
You might think that when it comes to how to deal with bullying, if you become a bully you will feel better because you will have power over other people. This way you will only become a part of the problem and you won't bring a solution to it. It's easy to be a bad person and you don't need strength to it. What you need strength for is to stand up to someone and tell them that you're not going to take it anymore. This is something that people will respect about you.
The truth is that there is no way to prevent bullying; you can never know when it will hit you. However, there are several different ways for you to handle the situation. There is no general rule that you should follow; you should do whatever feels right for the given situation.