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How to Spot a Guy’s Emotional Manipulation from a Mile Away

It takes knowledge and strength to recognize the signs of emotional abuse. However, it is a lot easier if you know what you should be looking for. Learn about the signs that raise a red flag about a guy.

How to Recognize the Signs of Emotional Abuse

You might think that seeing the signs of an emotional manipulator isn't very common, but this is mostly because women don't really know what they should be looking for. If you do know the signs to be mindful of, you may be looking for ways to deal with passive aggressive people. These people pray on other's fears, insecurities, and vulnerabilities and they "trick" them into doing what they want. Actually, if the victim doesn't want to do what the manipulator wants them to do, they will even feel bad about it. Learn all the signs you should be looking for so that nobody will have that kind of power over you.

couple pointing fingers

Emotional abuse signs

1. Passive aggressiveness

If you are facing emotional manipulation, you may hear numerous fake apologies. Furthermore, you will feel bad about putting the person in a situation in which he needs to apologize. If you accept their apologies, he will simply manipulate you.

2. Pretends to help you

The manipulators will offer their help in any given situation. They volunteer for works they don't actually want to do and they will let you know through nonverbal cues. If you tell them not to help, they will say that you are unreasonable.

3. Flip-flopper

Did it ever happen to you that you were sure you remember something correctly, but another person said that it happened differently? This suggests that he is an emotional manipulator. He will lie to your face to prove that he is right and you are wrong.

4. Guilt tripping

A manipulative person will make you feel bad no matter how you act. It won't be alright if you speak up, but they will be a problem if you do speak up too. You can't really satisfy these people. They are only satisfied when the people around them are suffering.

5. Indirectness

Emotional manipulators are experts in indirectness. This means that they will talk behind your back, they will manipulate others into saying what they are afraid to say, and they will find sneaky ways to let you know that they are unhappy.

6. They lack accountability

One of the biggest successes of manipulators is being able to twist a situation in which they are the faulty party in a way that results in everything being your fault. Whatever he does, someone else will be to blame.

Learn How to Handle Verbal and Emotional Abuse and How to Recognize the Signs to Know When You Have to Distance Yourself

There is a lot to know about emotional manipulation. Learn all about it so that you won't become a victim yourself.

1. Passive aggressiveness – a way of life

couple in movie theatre man not listening woman frustrated

When asking what is emotional abuse, you should think of situations when whatever you say, it will be turned against you. The abuser will talk with an air of honesty to hide their true intentions. For instance, you might be upset with them that they forgot about something you asked them. In response they might say that they are sad you think that they would forget, but they are under a lot of stress and they didn't want to burden you with their problems. They may also say something like they are sorry they didn't manage to get past their problems to focus on the task at hand.

Emotionally abusive men will make you feel bad for having them asked to perform a task. For sure your intuition will tell you that there is something off about this apology. Make sure not to accept it or their manipulation will take effect on you. In case you feel like the apology isn't honest, it most probably isn't. Don't let him manipulate you. If he can do it once, for sure he will do it again.

2. Pretends to help you even when you don't need help

man standing behind woman doing dishes

If a person is emotionally manipulative, they will grab every opportunity to make it look like he is helpful. When given the task, they accept it happily and they volunteer for more work. Although you might think this is a good thing, remember that he acts this way to achieve their selfish goals. When their help is accepted, they will let you know through sighs or other nonverbal communication that they aren't happy with the situation.

In case you tell them you can see that they don't want to help, they will try to manipulate you. You will see signs of emotional abuse if he tells you that you are being unreasonable as he really wants to help. In order to handle this situation, you should simply ignore his sighs. Another option is to confront him, but he will only try to manipulate you.

3. Flip-flopper – nothing is ever good enough

couple having a cooking argument

For sure you know how annoying it is if you are sure you remember something correctly, but the other person says that things didn't happen that way. All this leads to emotional control.
The people who can pull this off have mastered the skills of manipulation and they can turn around just any situation. As ugly as it may be, you may have seen it many times on the political scene.

If he is an emotional manipulator, he will show no signs that he is lying, as if it came naturally to him. He might be so good with his persuasion that you might question your own sanity. The best way to combat his arguments it to keep log of the things he says. This way you will have proof the next time he will try to convince you of something.

4. Guilt tripping for no reason

depressed young woman in blue

Putting you on a guilt trip is one of the most often used weapons in the arsenal of verbal and emotional abuse. An abusive person will make you feel guilty regardless of your actions. There are no lines they aren't willing to cross to make the people around them feel bad. Manipulators don't express their needs or desires directly. They prefer to manipulate people into fulfilling them. By acting sympathetic while making you feel guilty is one of the most powerful tools he can use against you.

As one of the emotional manipulation tactics, the person in question will play the victim and they will make you do their dirty work. You will find yourself doing things for them even though they never asked you explicitly. He might say something like he trusts your abilities and he is sure that you can do this on your own.

5. Indirectness – the perfect weapon

woman wearing earrings with finger pressed against lips

If there is emotional manipulation in a relationship, there will seldom be any direct confrontation.
Manipulative people settle their problems indirectly. This means that they will speak behind your back. They will make people say the things they aren't willing to, and they always find subtle ways to let you know that they aren't happy. He will tell you the things you want to hear. If you want to start your own business, they will tell you they will support you. However, they won't help you when you need it the most, even more, they will make life more difficult for you.

If you try to confront emotional manipulators, they will say something like you can't expect the world to stop just because you are busy. The truth is that there aren't many responses you could give. As a matter of fact, there is no reason to give a response. Just get rid of the person in question.

6. They lack accountability – it's never their fault

man on couch with woman in background

The lack of accountability is one of the best emotional manipulation examples. If the person in question does something wrong and they are confronted with it, they will turn the situation around. In the end you will feel bad about what happened and you might even apologize for something you didn't do. For instance, they might forget to buy something you asked them to. In the end they will twist the situation and make you feel like it's your fault they forgot so you might end up apologizing to them.

When asking how to spot manipulation, you should be looking for the people who bring up your mistakes to justify their own. Remember that the fact that once you forgot something too isn't a good enough reason for them to do the same as well.

In case you are interested in what is psychological abuse, you should be looking for signs that you're not doing what you would really like to. If someone seems too perfect, chances are there is something wrong with them and they are trying very hard to make it seem like they are perfect. While doing this, most probably they make you feel inferior to them so that they will have even more power over you.

By Abie Giles

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