7 Steps for Fixing a Broken Relationship
Broken relationships are not as rare as before in these days. There are so many factors influencing the decision making process with both partners and it is not easy to maintain your relationship stabile at all times under all circumstances. However, once partners lose faith in each other, only two things are there to be done: fix things or going separate ways. When deciding on moving on, there are various tips on how you can get over a long term relationship. But, when making a decision on fixing the relationship, there are some aspects that need to be taken into consideration and issues partners need to work on.
1. Does he pay attention?
Notice if he is really listening to everything you have to say during the communication and if he tries with things you do together. Fixing the broken relationship is a two-way street and both sides need to participate.
2. Is he concerned?
Concern is one of the main feelings that can be seen in a relationship, no matter how bad the situation is. There is no person that can feel indifferent when the other partner feels down and helpless.
3. Do you still share laughs?
Yelling at each other won't help. That is why it is important to give each other a good laugh from time to time and solve all your conflicts in a calm way.
4. How do you handle arguments?
Do you feel the need to push every argument over the edge, when you clearly know where it is? Does your partner to the same? Try to stay focused and stop the rage.
5. Need for immediacy
Don't jump from one subject to another, but try and focus on one problem until it's solved. Competing with your partner over who has the most guilt in all problems won't help.
6. Is there still trust?
Find out if you both still believe in each other, regardless of everything you have gone through. If you find it in your heart to trust in your partner, even after all the wrong that's happened, there is still hope.
7. Are you both still accountable?
If either one of you is not accountable for your actions any longer, that means the relationship isn't balanced and one person can get away with a lot more than the other.
7 Great Solutions to Use While Trying to Get Your Relationship Back on Tracks and Fix All Your Problems
Every once in a while people in a relationship start arguing, distancing from each other and, in the end, end up with one broken relationship. Luckily, there are ways for you to fix your problems and get your relationship back on the track by using 7 great ideas. Focusing on these techniques, try to answer following questions:
1. Does he pay attention while you are talking?
It often happens in relationships that two people come to the point where they don't see eye to eye and strongly disagree on some topics, ways of how something can be done or priorities they should be having. That is the part when usually everything starts going downhill, fast, until they get to the bottom and end up in a broken relationship. But, when trying to fix everything that occurred, there are two paths partners can follow. One includes discussing every problem they have, even if that leads then to a huge fight. The other one is when one partner is willing to talk, and the other one is there, but isn't really paying attention. Listening to whatever your partner has to say may seem like a not so important thing, while, in fact, is the most important step in mending a broken relationship. If you learn how to listen, you just may get your answer handed on a plate as easily as that.
2. Is he still concerned for you and your feelings?
After all the fighting and arguing a lot of couples end up a bit jaded to whatever the other partner has to say or do. It's a specific feeling that makes you feel worn out and tired of everything. However, even in such cases, both partners are still genuinely concerned about each other's feelings. That concern is the best sign that you are on a good way to fix whatever problems you are having. If you find yourself in this situation and it seems that he doesn't care about your feelings at all, it's another challenge you two will have to overcome on your way of fixing a broken relationship. It's not an easy road to walk, but if you are determined to get things back the way they were, both of you will have to put in a lot of effort to prove to each other that you really want it.
3. Do you still have moments of making each other laugh?
Disagreement and arguing are the part of a relationship as well as making each other laugh. As you try to fix a broken relationship, try and remember when was the last time you two had a good laugh with each other. In the past, there were certainly a lot of thing you could do to put a smile on your partner's face. So, ask yourself, what happened with that and how you can do it again. It is important that both of you understand that, even though you don't always agree on things, you still appreciate each other as persons you have history with, persons you spent an important time of your lives with. Growing cold on each other won't bring you the peace and reconciliation you are both seeking. That is why it is good that you make each other laugh from time to time as you work on getting things back on track.
4. How good are you in dealing with arguments?
One more question you need to ask yourself is how you are dealing with disputes and arguments you two are having. Are you more than eager to make him take all the blame for everything that has happened? Or are you the one who pulls back and feels guilty? Or perhaps you use excuses to fight back things you don't want to admit? It is very important that you start making a difference between facts and subjective feelings. They can easily get you confused and lead you to think something totally different of what the real truth is. One of the steps in how to fix a broken relationship is to see when you have facts and when it's all about how you feel, and the same thing goes for your partner. Both of you must learn to express feelings and separate them from facts, no matter how ugly it may seem.
5. How focused are you when talking about one subject?
Does it happen that each of you starts talking about a new problem before you have finished dealing with the previous one? If the answer is yes, that is one more thing you two need to work on while repairing a broken relationship. Problems aren't going to disappear, that is for certain, and there is no need to rush over them just so you could shift the blame to your partner for something he had done. Instead of jumping from one problem to another and still accomplishing nothing, try and listen your partner's reasons, catch some air and then think about everything. Maybe you find yourself guilty at times for things that have happened. Maybe you get to the conclusion that you could have done something differently, which is one of the best moments you can have while working on improving your relationship. And who knows, perhaps you may see that all those problems aren't as big as you saw them up to that point, or have really simple solution, which you managed to miss by dragging other problems into the argument.
6. Do you still trust each other?
Trust is the basis for having a stabile and successful relationship. Without trust, nothing is worth the trouble. That is why you need to ask yourself if you two still believe in each other and trust each other. At the beginning of the relationship, people hold their distance, in order not to get hurt. As the time goes by, they lower their guard and let themselves trust the person they are with. However, when trust is broken in a relationship, it becomes one of the main problems for both partners. If you have the intention of saving whatever is left of your relationship, first you have to trust each other again. Put behind all the issues you have already talked about and worked through, and try not to have so many doubts regarding those specific situations. Otherwise, it will consume you, and you will prove that you don't trust your partner at all. For example, if you two have agreed on sharing the house chores, trust your partner he will get it done and don't start panicking when it's not done up to the moment you thought it would be.
7. Do you share responsibility?
When a problem occurs, do you both take the responsibility for it or is just one person always held accountable for everything? Unbalanced responsibility is something that enables one partner to do whatever he or she wants, while the other one is always to blame for the outcome, no matter what happens. In a relationship, one person can't always be blamed for all problems, because it's like a two-way street. You are both in this and you both need to take the blame. Sharing that burden is vital for saving your relationship. That way, you will learn to coordinate with each other again, meet each other's needs and make compromises in right situations. One of the best ways to start sharing responsibility and get back on tracks is to start acknowledging all the things you might have done better, things you did wrong. Each of you can start by making a list and then talking about all problematic situations and things you think you did wrong.