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Approach Anxiety: How to Overcome It in Uncomfortable Situations

Getting sweaty palms and a pounding heart while your face is blushing is not convenient if you are the one who has these symptoms when meeting new people. Change these reactions and get rid of your social anxiety.

Overcome approach anxiety

As much as people don't actually consider this important, but the initial approach to someone new is a very important and maybe the hardest part of getting to know someone. Some people find it natural and pretty easy, without any questions. But there are also those, who have problems with doing something like that on their own. Whenever they try approaching someone new, they often get sweaty palms, the heart is pounding like crazy and they end up frozen in the middle of what they were going to do. That is called approach anxiety and there are easy ways to get over these feelings and carry on with what you had in mind.

distressed young woman

Approach Anxiety

1. Breathe deeply

Nothing calms you better and faster than a good deep inhale and exhale whenever you get nervous. It gives your heart more oxygen and slows down your heart beat rate.

2. Walk with purpose

Focus on what you had in mind when you start walking. Don't let your fear overcome your feeling of accomplishing your goal the way you wanted in the first place.

3. Go out with friends

Try to relax and arrange a night out with your closest friends. That way you will feel inside of your comfort zone and they will be your moral support whenever you need them.

4. Do a warmup

Before you should meet with someone, try and practice your speech in front of the mirror at home. It may sound silly, but it helps when you know what and how you're going to say something.

5. Go to the same places

Familiar places give you the same feeling of being at very comfortable and already known place, which is why you are more relaxed in the first place.

6. Confidence is key

When approaching someone, the confidence you have at the present moment comes from past successes and failures. Confidence is a state of mind, you improve it through trial and error.

7. Practice, practice, practice

There are a lot of ways in which you can practice your approaching technique with success and overcome this problem.

7 Tips and Tricks on How to Handle and Overcome Approach Anxiety During the Most Uncomfortable of Public and Social Situations

Dealing with something like social anxiety can be very stressful. There are many people who have the same problem. Luckily, this is something you can deal with in a short period of time with some practice. And the good news is, here are some simple and useful tips and tricks on how to overcome approach anxiety in no time and still get what you were planning to do.

1. Breathe deeply: Shift the focus of your mind to breathing

When you find yourself in the situation, where you want to approach a guy, or you should speak in front of an audience and you start having all the symptoms- sweaty palms, blushing, pounding heart, knots in your stomach- try and breathe deeply. Since your heart beat is going faster and faster, you'll need to get greater amount of oxygen inside of your body, so it would balance everything out. By getting more oxygen, you will manage to focus on the breathing, for starters, instead of focusing on feat itself. Secondly, you will provide you heart with more oxygen, so it will be able to slow down and process it. By inhaling and exhaling deeply, you will shift the focus of your mind from "what is going to happen" or "how to I do this" to breathing. If you are already calm and you are still having troubles with guys, here you can see why guys don't approach you.

2. Walk with purpose: trick your brain into no fear

One of the best techniques of getting rid of anxiety is to focus on the sole purpose you have by getting certain things in motion. If you are about to speak in front of the audience and you are feeling nervous, concentrate on the topic you are about to present. Just go over it in your head really quickly and don't forget to breathe. If it happens that you are in such situation, where you are to meet someone new, and you friends aren't part of that specific social gathering, choose the clothing color of the person you are about to meet as a kind of a "distraction" for your mind. It will be just a few seconds, but it will surely be enough time for you to trick your brain into not having the time to respond with fear, but to put it in the situation where it has to proceed with providing you with necessary information, that will help you present yourself to someone else. And when you get a warm response from that other person, your brain will mark that as a good action. Next time you will have to approach someone, it will be a lot easier.

3. Go out with friends: surround yourself with people you are comfortable with

Friends give a moral support

Spending time with your friends in a public place is something that helps out a lot when it comes to overcoming social anxiety. They will make you relaxed and feeling inside of your comfort zone, while you are safely practicing your social skills. Moral support is very important, so your brain would never have the negative feedback about what you are trying to change. Instead of approaching someone yourself, you can arrange with your friends that some of them presents you to another person they already know and then you can start chatting and relaxing, getting used to this specific situation. As soon as your brain realizes that it's not that scary, it will reward you by giving you creative topics you can share with another person and make the conversation even more interesting.

4. Do a warmup: practice up

When overcoming fear of public speaking, which is one of the major fears for almost anyone, the most important thing is to be nicely prepared for everything you have to say. And the best way to do that is to stand in front of the biggest mirror you have in your house or apartment, stand straight, breathe deeply and start your presentation. At first, focus on the topic itself. After you got that part of your speech secure, pay attention to your posture as well as to your diction. Look like you are the smartest person in the world. Those three things are more than enough to make you appear confident, even when you don't feel like that completely. Don't let any mistake throw you of the balance. And everything, that occurs unexpectedly, observe as something you have already planned. This positive stimulus is enough for the brain to characterize this type of behavior as not scary and good, which is the main thing that will help you lose the fear of public speaking.

5. Go to the same places: go there before going there for the first time

New places aren't always a good idea when you are trying to connect to safe environment. It is true, nothing bad will happen, but the fact that this is a totally new different place from the one you usually go to is enough to make you feel edgy even before you enter the room. That is why the wisest idea about practicing your social skills is, to be at a place you already feel comfortable with. If you don't have such places, pick one and visit it until you know every corner and are used to the people as well as the location. One of the psychological tricks about making a behavior marked as acceptable by your brain is to link it to something that your brain already considers good and positive. That way, your brain picks up on the same feelings about the place you're at and what you are doing, and that makes the whole process of getting rid of this kind of fear a lot easier.

6. Confidence is key: present yourself as confident

As well as in lots of other situations, here is all about having the confidence. How do you gain confidence? By paying attention the posture and the state of mind you're currently in, there are many tricks that will help you to improve your confidence. The lack of self-security comes from the negative response of the people in your surroundings, which triggers the adequate response on that action in your brain. That way, you brain tells your body that certain actions aren't preferable and you shouldn't be doing them. Unfortunately, sometimes you get an instant reaction from your brain without even undertaking that specific action. The best advice on how to conquer fear in these situations is to give the brain a positive reaction to what you are doing, which means you have to be certain that, whatever you are doing, is good and socially accepted. Even when you aren't totally sure, you have to convince yourself that it is. And in no time, you'll be handling your fear of public speaking or approaching to someone.

7. Practice, practice, practice: talk to someone who is working

Like every other skill, meeting new people and approaching them in order to get over your fear, you need to practice this on daily basis. One of the most interesting and safest ways to work on your approaching skills is to go to a shopping mall and ask the salesmen or sales women about a suitable gift for someone from your family or the best friend (you can choose a person yourself and it can also be a maid up person with specific characteristics). The point is, they will always be nice and have a great response to your behavior, and brain will get the positive stimulus for what you are doing. After you are done looking there and getting the information you need, in the first shop, you can always say that you will think about the ideas and head to the next one. There, you can start your personal approach anxiety program all over again. After tons of trials like this one, you will be overcoming approach anxiety very soon and you won't have problem with meeting a stranger or talking to someone new again.

By Abie Giles

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