Judge a Person’s Actions to Predict Future Behavior
It doesn’t take a mind reader to find the motivations behind most people’s behavior. You will find reason and predictability when you stop placing so much emphasis on words and instead start judging someone based on their actions. When you realize that their actions speak louder than words, their behavior will start to become easier to read.
Being able to predict someone’s actions beforehand is an invaluable skill. It makes life easier to understand, creates opportunities, and enables you to be able to protect yourself from further emotional harm. Change the outcome of your future by learning and adapting from past negative experiences.
Place Importance on Actions over Words, and You Will See People’s Underlying Motives. From This You Will be Able to Distinguish Sincerity vs. Insincerity
In order to know what someone is thinking, pay attention to their actions before their words. First, let’s list some characteristics of insincere people.
Insincerity Takes Many Forms
Here are some red flags to look out for to know you are dealing with someone who is insincere:
Talks big but does very little
Consistently breaks promises
Their values and opinions change like the wind
Their words and actions don’t match up
Only co-operate when it’s convenient for them
Talkers and Doers
The difference between talkers and doers isn’t difficult to spot. Do you know somebody that often talks a big game but when pressure is applied they can’t rise up to the occasion? Bragging and trying to validate one’s self-worth through others shows insecurity. If they talk a lot and have failed on many occasions to back it up, there is a high likelihood that behavior will continue in the future.
The Politician Syndrome
Some people will say anything in order to win you over. They often say things they don’t necessarily mean. After they get what they want, they are gone. They are self-serving people looking to emotionally manipulate you. They only see you as a means to an end. The politician syndrome is contagious and if you know anyone like this, avoid them at all costs lest their behavior rubs off on you.
Drifters are those certain individuals that can never seem to make up their mind. They contradict themselves at every turn and often make excuses when called out on their behavior. Counter this personality by holding them accountable for their actions. Don’t get angry, just adjust your expectations of them accordingly.
People will often say one thing and do something different. That’s life. However, if you remember that actions speak louder than words, you can avoid the pitfall of actually believing what they say. Hypocrites have a way of making you trust society less overall, but don’t make that mistake.
The Mistake That All of Us Make
I’m sure at one point in your life you have let one person’s insincerity run your life. You must take every individual for their word until it comes to the point where their word doesn’t mean anything. When meeting people for the first time, give them the benefit of the doubt until they prove that they don’t deserve it. Don’t be so quick to judge someone based on a one-time experience. Give them plenty of opportunities to prove themselves through their actions.
How to Identify Passive-Aggressive Behavior
Passive-aggressive behavior is the silent killer. Passive-aggressiveness is indirect and subtle hostility that takes the form of two-faced lies, gossip, and flat out ignorance. Remember that the key is that actions speak louder than words. When dealing with these types, play close attention to what they DO rather than what they say.
How to Combat Passive-Aggressiveness
Stop wasting your energy trying to figure out their intentions, or trying to read between the lines. Passive-aggressive people make their communication ambiguous and cryptic on purpose in order to cause you stress and frustration. Never deal with a pseudo-sociopath by playing their game. Rise above it and either remove them from your life or limit your exposure to them.
The Bright Side
A positive aspect of associating with any of the insincere types of people listed above is that you learn what NOT to do. Just make sure you learn from yours and other’s mistakes when conducting yourself in the future.
Practice What You Preach
Best thing about learning to judge others based on their actions: You elicit behaviors you want to see out of people and start to practice them yourself.
“Everyone considers honestly a virtue, yet few want to hear the truth”
Force people to remember you by your action because that speaks louder than words. When you do speak, speak the truth. You should have strong beliefs yet leave enough room to modify them according to each situation. Keep your words consistent with your actions so as to not send the wrong message to people. Everything you do and say affects your credibility.
The Bottom Line
Sincere people are those who are genuine in both their words AND their actions. They show up at the times when you need them the most, and are consistently supportive regardless of the situation. If you are confused about someone’s true intentions, take into account their past behavior with special importance on the things they did rather than said. Everyone will behave in accordance to their best interests, so keep the people in your life that seem to have taken an interest in you. Look past their flaws and accept people for who they are. Instead of trying to change everyone else, look into changing yourself first.