A guide to the 80/20 relationship principle
As women we need to realize that not every rule that exists in relationship kingdom will apply to our own relationship. Too often we watch talk shows and read somewhere where some rule worked for someone and we start thinking that it can work for us. Not always a wise idea. Some of you so often ask yourselves “What is the best dating advice I could get to make my relationship perfect?” In that case, have you ever heard of the 80/20 rule? If you have, you must be wondering: ‘Does it apply to relationships as well?’ According to some, yes.
Stay tuned to see how this principle falls into one the good relationship rules and why we should or shouldn’t consider it. Whether you are in a long-term relationship or just dating, there are certain rules to make a relationship work, or by which each man-woman relationship works. On the other hand some rules do not apply for you as every relationship is different. Find out what you might be missing and how to make your relationship even more content.
How Can We Combine Rules and Relationships? The 80/20 Rule for Relationships Shows Us Just How Love Works and How We Can Benefit from It
We have all felt on our skin at one time or another that our relationships aren’t perfect. Our partners aren’t perfect either. We probably noticed that the couple next door seems perfect; they don’t argue as much as you do with your partner and he seems to do all the things that she loves. You see these things happening around you and start to think that maybe something is wrong with your relationship and that it is not at its full potential. Worse yet you might be thinking that somehow you had been thinking wrong and ended up with the wrong partner. Ironically, there are some guidelines and patterns we all make that predict our behavior yet sometimes we do the opposite. And once we can predict it, it’s easier to fix it and make it work to our advantage. Or so we are led to believe. Let’s see how this manifests in our relationships through some simple dating advice for women that will make everything more clearly.
The Pareto principle (otherwise known as the 80-20 rule) is used to derive many rules of thumb. An interpretation of the rule in relationships is that most people are satisfied with the 80 percent they get with little effort, 20 percent. However, for those looking to dig deeper towards a more meaningful relationship, the effort required is 4 times more than that most people are willing to deal with.
How does it work in relationships?
The 80/20 percent rule in relationships is based on the notion that, in a good relationship you can only get 80 percent of what you need or want from your partner. The rest is unattainable and can only be found in other partners. So in essence our partners provide 80% while the other 20 is out there just wanting on us to fulfill our dreams and achieve ultimate happiness. Whether your partner is shy, and you wish him to be more open, or he isn’t as neat as you’d like him to be. These are clear examples of the 20 percent we always need in a relationship but we never get. That is why people result to cheating. It’s not necessarily a healthy relationship rule, but it is one that has been going around for some time and one that has led many people to take the wrong routes and leaving healthy relationships for unhealthy ones.
7 Most Common Mistakes People Make When Trying to Understand the 80/20 Rule
If applying the 80/20 rule to your relationship everyone would be doing it. In that respect, people, you, anyone you know, are bound to make mistakes whether you like it or not. So check yourself before you wreck your relationship applying the 80/20 rule misinformed.
Why can’t I get what I want??
The 80/20 percent rule in relationships can sometimes cause trouble especially to those who does not truly understand what it means or for those who insist on getting their missing 20%. The rule does not exist to remind you of the things you can’t have but rather as an eye opener to help you realize that you really cannot have everything. That would mean perfection (as in a perfect partner) which is not really possible. Some people do not believe this to be true and insist on having their cake and eating it too. For example, someone might realize that their current partner is providing 80% of their needs and opt to find someone who is able to fill in the missing 20%. But when such a decision is made, does it really benefit them? What they see initially is a complete fulfillment of all they desire but what they don’t realize, until it is too late, is that leaving 80% for just 20% is a “lose lose” competition. The person providing 20 might be missing the whole 80.
It’s your fault
Yes, it’s your fault
This might sound harsh, but one of the best open relationship rules is ’don’t blame it all on your partner’. It’s not just his fault. It takes two to make a relationship so it might be unfair to only take credit while dishing out all the negative aspects on your partner. Maybe you could get what you are missing if you lowered your criteria a bit more, or changed your views a bit in order to reach compromise with your lovely partner? According to some theories, our internal insecurities can lead us to reevaluate everything to the point where it’s the partner’s insecurities that are the reason of dissatisfaction and not ours. Coming to grips with the fact that you too can be at fault will help the relationship rather than hinder it.
Are we unhappy?
Is there something missing?
Stop looking so much at what is missing and be thankful for what you already have going for your relationship. This is one of the rules in a relationship we should all follow. Instead of focusing on the positive and cherishing what we have already, we tend to focus more on what we do not have. The 80/20 rule in love doesn’t encourage us to be positive, but instead those 20 percent will nag us and nag us, to the point where we will think we are unhappy and missing out on some crucial aspect of our relationship. But it doesn’t have to work that way, and we can control this by acknowledging the positive things in our relationship.
Do not jump ship just because the sea gets rough
Is the grass really greener?
When the relationship road gets rocky, these 20 percent stand out even more, and someone else who owns all the particular assets you are missing may be more attractive and appealing. However, hold your horses and don’t jump to the wrong conclusion. The grass might not be greener on the other side after all. This is where relationship help comes in handy. Just like your partner isn’t providing you with a certain amount of ’perfection’ you need in a relationship to make it happy, some other stud will be missing other 20 percent which you will be poking at or maybe they provide 20% that you are missing while they themselves are missing a whole 80%.. At least that’s what the modern theory of tells us. The point being, it’s better to stick to what you got and give it an extra effort, than to jump from one wagon to the other, thinking someone else has that 100 percent that we need. It’s not just up to the guy, remember?
He who risks, wins
Is this completely true?
Let’s say you risk your already content relationship, in order to test out the 80/20 rule in relationships. You dump a person that was perfectly decent, for another guy who gave you what you were missing. However, you never know what you are getting. You might be getting those 20 percent and that’s it. Would you really have won? Think carefully and don’t overanalyze, especially to the point where your current relationship will seem worse than it is. It doesn’t have to mean it is bad, just because you are in a slump right now. You will just end up changing a lot of men, instead of trying to work on what you already have in the first place. Hard times in relationships can sometimes build a stronger bond that takes you both closer together. All you need to do is work a little harder and hold on a little longer.
Everyone goes through it
Are we really bound to end up like that?
Can we have a perfect relationship? Is it really up to these rules of relationships, or is it on us? Whether we know about the 80/20 relationship rule, it is safe to say that most of us will not have a picture-perfect relationship. And that’s not something to stress over. Nothing is perfect, neither are our relationships. However, we can perceive what we get in our relationship as satisfying enough to build a strong bond with our partner. If we come terms with the fact that we can be content with what we have, we are on the road to success. Relationship rules are here to guide us, but commitment, persistence and patience is what actually gets us to our goals. Moreover, once we succeed in achieving those goals all by ourselves, we will have a fulfilled relationship, which can be especially blissful because we put all the effort into it. That makes us better humans, and if you are proud of yourself that will manifest positively for your relationship and bring you even closer. Closer than you can imagine.
Can I fix what is not broken?
Don’t allow rules to mess things up
If the relationship is fine why worry about it? If you believe that you are missing something in your relationship the first choice is to look into yourself before turning to your partner and pointing fingers. Before looking out of the relationship for answers look at yourself. What if to reach the ultimate satisfaction is to change something about you, if it even means changing the way you view relationships and how the 80/20 rule apply. My theory is, if it is not broken do not try to fix it. That missing 20% is insignificant when compared to a majority lead of 80%. 80% is hard to come by in a relationship, losing it might mean you never recover it even if the relationship is rekindled.
What if I am happy with my 80?
Can less really become more?
Human nature is sometimes hard to fully understand. Wrapping your relationship around the 80/20 rule can be frustrating and pulls you into a feeling of unhappiness and despair. You might have been enjoying you 80% while knowing fully that the remaining 20 is really not even remotely possible to get from your partner because as you know, nobody is perfect and it is not possible to get a perfect partner. But as humans we are stubborn and sometimes we decide that we really want it all even if it seems impossible. So we might be holding onto a greater percentage of the pie yet we release it to get the little that seems so appealing to us. The lesser percentage haunts us until it becomes the most important thing that we need. Our partner might be loving and a good provider but we insist on finding that one guy that will always reminder to leave the toilet seat up. Why? Because in our moments of despair, we can never see the “bigger picture”
We will always need what others have... Not really.
The 80/20 rule of a relationship is applicable, but somewhat subjective. It doesn’t apply to everyone, so stick to your side. No relationship rule can tell you what to do. When it seems like you are at a crossroad and not really sure what to do, you can always get online dating advice, which can help a lot. The only good rules to have in a relationship are those that will keep you both happy. And if it gets rough along the road, focus on those good moments and why you love your man in the first place. Remember, everything has and will have a silver lining. It is the bad, dark times that make good times seem so extraordinarily wonderful.